Broken Raphael
by KerryAnne
Summary: After a vicious fight with Leo, Raphael is ambushed and brutally attacked, leaving him broken and traumatized and having to make some difficult decisions. Can Raphael recover from his ordeal? Or will he be forever traumatized and a shadow of himself? And who will help him through his recovery? Will Raphael find the love he's been yearning for if he does recover?
1. Broken Raphael

Leo is 16  
Donnie is 16 (two weeks younger than Leo)  
Raph is 14 (15 later on)  
Mikey's 14

"Fuck ya, Leo," Raphael snarled, his green eyes blazing, and his fists clenched, ready to strike, as the rain poured down, soaking himself and Leo to the bone, but the brothers continued to stand on the roof top, trying to stare one another down. "Ya can't tell me what ta do. I ain't a kid and ya ain't my mate. Donnie is, although I bet ya wish ya could be, don't ya? Drives ya insane knowin' that Donnie's my mate and that he's the one who gets ta fuck me. News flash, Leo. I could never love ya in a million years. Yer too up yer own ass, Splinter junior, and ya could never compare ta Donnie." Even as Raphael said those words, he winced inwardly, wishing he could take them back, knowing it wasn't true. He loved Leo, but he knew his feelings would never be returned. His older brother would never love a temperamental brute like him. And Raphael didn't blame him. Leo deserved someone amazing and Raphael knew he was anything but. Yes, he had loved Donnie, but not the same way he loved Leo and it killed him to think that Leo would soon be bonded to Lotus Blossom. The thought of them mating made Raphael want to puke. He fought the urge and continued to glare at his brother, hoping he'd give up and storm off, like he often did.

At five foot two, Leo could look down on his brother a bit and he took advantage of it, pulling himself up to his full height. He stiffened a bit at Raphael's crass words and said, "My love for you is purely brotherly, Raphael, so I don't know where you got those ideas from and I find them repulsive."

"Yet ya fucked Mikey," Raphael hissed, as the rain began to fall harder.

"We were drunk and it was a one-time thing. I deeply regret it. Anyway, I'm worried about you, Raph. You're drinking heavily, you're missing training, and you're barely at home. What's wrong?"

It's ya, Raphael thought. Ya, Leo. How can ya be so dense? Why can't ya see that I love ya and that when we fight, I do it ta get yer attention. I loved Donnie, but it's ya I yearn for. Ta be hugged and kissed by ya, ta fuck ya and tell ya how much I love ya. Yer so fuckin' gorgeous. I want ya.

"And you're so rude to Lotus. Why don't you like her? What could she possibly have done to deserve your wrath?"

"Ya really wanna know what's wrong, Leo?" Raphael asked, stepping closer, their faces mere inches apart.

"Yes. I'm concerned, Raph. We all are."

"Ya won't like the answer."

"Try me."

"Ya will hate me."

"Raph, you may infuriate me, but I could never hate you. You're my brother and I love you. Whatever's wrong, we can sort it out together. You're not alone."

"I hate Lotus."

"W-why? What did she do to upset you?"

"Because…." Oh, screw it, Raphael thought. I suck at words. I'm gonna show him with actions. "This is why," Raphael said, and smashed his mouth against Leo's. His lips felt soft and warm and inviting and Raphael felt like he was in heaven.

Shock registered on Leo's face. He shoved Raphael away and stepped back, arms crossed. "What the hell, Raph?" he said angrily, his sapphire eyes stony.

"Told ya that ya wouldn't like the answer," Raphael said in a small voice, hurt etched on his face. "The things I said ain't true, Leo. I love ya and I hate Lotus, because she's with ya and I wanna be with ya, Leo. I wanna hug ya and tell ya how much I love ya. I wanna grow old with ya."

"NO!" Leo screamed, and jabbed a finger into Raphael's plastron. "This is wrong. You're my brother and I love Lotus and you love Donnie and…I'm going to forget this happened and...I'm going home. I can't believe you, Raphael. Pulling a stunt like this when you know I love Lotus! You know this isn't funny."

"It's not meant ta be, Leo. I love ya. I always have."

"I don't feel the same way, Raphael, and I never will. I love Lotus. Get that through your thick skull. You got your wish. You can go out. I'll see you at home."

"But, Leo…"

"Never speak of this to me, Raphael, and you should be ashamed of yourself for cheating on Donnie."

"I ain't. Donnie's messin' around with April! I caught them and…"

"So I'm a rebound thing. Is that it? You want a roll in the hay to get revenge on Donnie? I'm not something to be toyed and messed around with, Raphael."

"No, ya fuckin' stupid bastard. I wouldn't do that ta ya, Leo. I respect ya too much. Me and Donnie are…"

"ENOUGH!" Leo roared. "Good night!" And he stomped off, leaving Raphael alone, his heart shattered into a million pieces.

Tears streamed down Raphael's face and he punched a wall until his knuckles were bloody, the pain distracting him from his inner heartache. The rain continued to bucket down, but Raphael didn't care. Leo had rejected him and nothing mattered to him anymore. Rejection is a bitter pill ta swallow, Raphael thought, and let out an anguished howl. I may as well kill myself, he thought. Got nothin' ta live for. No Donnie. He's off bangin' April and Leo hates my guts. I'm better off dead.

Raphael pulled out his sai from his obi and placed it at his throat. This is it, he thought, studying the blade. Gonna end this shit game of life. Tired of playin' and gettin' screwed. Not like anyone will miss me anyway. I'm just a huge fuck-up.

Meanwhile, Bebop, Rocksteady and Shredder were on the way back to the technodrome, when they spotted a figure on the rooftop next to them. "Looks like one of them turtles, boss," Bebop said. "Can I blast him?"

"Yes," Shredder said. "Zap him with your paralyzing ray and then leave him for me. I intend to have some fun with him," he added and smiled sadistically. His goons snickered, knowing exactly what he meant.

Too occupied with his task, Raphael failed to hear the villains approaching him, but he sure as heck felt the stun ray hit him. He crashed to the floor, plastron down, his sai clattering a few feet away from him. "Good evening, turtle," Shredder boomed.

"Chrome dome," Raphael hissed, trying to move, but finding he was not able to. "What the fuck did ya do ta me?"

"Paralyzing ray, Raphael, but don't worry. We're going to have some fun," Shredder said, and chuckled.

Fear crept into Raphael's heart and a shiver went down his spine at the chilling words, realizing what was about to happen. He's gonna rape me, Raphael thought. And there's nothin' I can do 'bout it. Leo, someone find me. Leo!

With the assistance of his mutants, Shredder turned Raphael over and spread his legs. "Look, ya don't wanna do this," Raphael said, staring at Shredder pleadingly. "I'm just a kid. Not even fifteen yet."

"Who's always interfering in my plans and yes, I want to do this. Been so long since I've had a good fuck. Lie there and be quiet, freak of nature," Shredder said. He unzipped his trousers and pulled down his underwear, exposing his thick eight inch cock. Raphael stared at it, nausea bubbling in his stomach, knowing that soon he'd be violated, treated like a play thing and he couldn't even fight back. All he could do was lie there, like a helpless rag doll. But I won't let them see me cry, Raphael resolved. Whatever he does, I won't give him the satisfaction of seein' me broken.

The rain stopped and Shredder rubbed Raphael's slit. He grinned when Raphael let out a reluctant churr, dropping down his purple ten inch cock that was leaking precome. "What a disgusting cock," Shredder said, and laughed, his henchmen joining in. "I've never seen such a hideous thing before. You truly are a freak, Raphael."

"If I could move, ya'd think twice 'bout sayin' such things, metalmouth," Raphael snapped, refusing to let them see how much the barb had stung. He was proud of his cock and it was one of the few things about himself he liked.

Shredder chortled again and thrust inside of Raphael's slit, making Raphael hiss. "Am I hurting you, freak?" Shredder asked.

"That six inch pecker of yers?" Raphael taunted. "Hardly. Heck, even a monkey's probably bigger!"

"I'll show you, freak!" Shredder yelled, thrusting harder and deeper into Raphael, who felt like he was being split into two, pain coursing through his body. Shredder pounded away, his thrusts becoming even more savage. The pain soon turned to pleasure, as Shredder stabbed Raphael's prostate and a reluctant rumble rolled up Raphael's throat. It wasn't long before Raphael came, his essence painting his plastron with hot, ropey streams of come. But Shredder hadn't climaxed yet and he continued to thrust, becoming even more brutal. His goal: to make the turtle bleed.

The pleasure turned to pain again, as the thrusts intensified and Raphael couldn't help mewling, despite his earlier vow to himself not to. It hurt so much. "Please," Raphael begged. "Enough. Ya had yer fun. I can't take more. Yer hurtin'me.I feel like yer splittin' me in two."

"I know," Shredder said and bit down hard on Raphael's collarbone, making him whine. He stopped thrusting and said, "I'm loving it. You're my little bitch, Raphael. Say it, Raphael. Say yes, Master. Raphael is your little bitch. Go on. Be a good turtle! If you do it, I'll stop."

Blood began to seep out of Raphael's ass and dripped down onto the ground and unwanted tears streamed down his cheeks. "Yes, Master," Raphael choked out. "Raphael is yer little bitch. He'll do whatever ya wish. Just stop."

"Good boy, but I lied, Raphael. I'm not done!" Shredder began to thrust again into Raphael, who screamed, his cries echoing into the quiet night. Raphael began to feel faint from the blood loss and sank into unconsciousness, and still Shredder pounded away, until he finally came, shooting his essence deep inside of Raphael.

Looking down at the unconscious and bleeding turtle, Shredder pulled out and said, "That was great, Raphael. Let's do it again sometime if you survive. If no one finds you soon, you'll probably die from the blood loss. Oh, well. It'll be one less turtle to mess with my plans." He yanked up his underwear, pulled up his trousers and zipped it up. He kicked Raphael in the side a few times and grinned, because he knew he'd probably cracked a few ribs, and said, "Come along, mutants." The villains left and headed back to the technodrome, looking forward to their evening meal.

Raphael continued to lie there, the rain pouring again and lashing down onto his prone body and washing some of the blood away. Thunder roared and lightning flashed as the weather worsened and still no one came, as Raphael's pulse grew fainter, his life force seeping away.

XXX

Back at the lair, Leo was sipping a mug of tea and trying not to think about his argument with Raphael or the kiss. Damn him, Leo thought furiously. I didn't want it and I've never thought about him that way, but that kiss was intoxicating, mind blowing, perfect. What the hell is wrong with me? I love Lotus. Raphael is my brother and it's wrong to think of him otherwise, isn't it? Then why do I suddenly want to tell him that I feel different, that maybe we could try, that I'd break things off with Lotus. Ugh. I'm so confused, Leo thought and rubbed his face.

Suddenly, Splinter entered the lounge, looking anxious, and said, "My son. I have had a terrible dream about Raphael. Is he home?"

"No, Sensei. He is out."

"In this weather? Then it is true," the aged rat said miserably. "You need to find him, Leonardo, before something evil happens. Where are your other brothers?"

"I don't know."

"Then we must go find Raphael."

"What happened in your dream, Sensei?"

"I will tell you on the way, Leonardo. Where last did you see Raphael?"

"On a roof top that we often go to."

"Then there we shall go."

Leonardo and Splinter immediately left and headed to the roof top.

XXX

Sometime later, they reached the roof top, where Leonardo immediately spotted his brother. "Oh, Raphael," he said, crouching down beside his unconscious brother. "I'm sorry, Raph. I should never have left you. It's my fault this happened." He felt Raphael's pulse and was relieved that he had one, albeit it faint.

"Is he dead, Leonardo?" Splinter asked fearfully.

"No, Sensei, but he's lost a lot of blood. What happened to him, Sensei? You said you'd tell me what happened in your dream, but you didn't."

"We will discuss that later, Leonardo. We need to get Raphael home."

Leo gently lifted his brother into his arms and he and Splinter made their way home. I should never have left him, Leo thought, fighting back tears. Raph, please wake up. Please. I'm sorry for yelling at you. Raph. Oh, Raph. Little brother, wake up. Please don't die. I need to tell you I am sorry.


	2. Leo's sacrifice

Back at the lair, Don and Mikey saw Leo carrying an unconscious Raphael. "What happened, Leo?" Don asked anxiously. "Why's he covered in so much blood?"

"I don't know. I wasn't with him."

"Is he going to be okay?" Mikey asked, his lower lip quivering, and blinking back tears, as he studied his blood soaked and battered brother.

"I don't know," Leo said.

"Take him to the infirmary," Splinter said. "Raphael needs urgent attention."

XXX

Inside the infirmary, Leo placed Raphael onto a stretcher, while Don put on his surgical gloves and got out his medical equipment. "I'm going to need hot water and damp cloths," Don said. "Go get them, Mikey."

"On it. He will be okay, won't he, Donnie?"

"Now, Mikey."

Stifling a sob, Mikey left the room.

Most of the blood seemed to be concentrated between Raphael's legs, caked and mixed with what smelled like semen to Don. Was Raph raped, he thought? God, poor Raph. Our strong, brave brother. How petrifying that must have been for him. If I ever discover who did this to him, I'm going to break every single bone in their body!

Mikey returned, handed the cloths to Don, who parted Raphael's legs and began cleaning the blood off of him, the cloths quickly being stained scarlet. Don washed them and reapplied them to Raphael's body, gently removing all the grime and blood. "And?" Leo asked, standing next to Mikey and Splinter. "What happened? Sensei, you said you had a dream in which something terrible happened to him."

Splinter swallowed the lump in his throat and said, "I had a dream that Raphael was attacked by Shredder. Sexually assaulted."

"Raphie was raped?" Mikey asked, nausea bubbling in his belly at the thought of his macho brother being violated in such a despicable manner.

"I fear that's what happened," Splinter said mournfully. "But we'll know for sure once Donatello's finished examining him.

"I'm going to tear him apart," Mikey growled, his blue eyes stony. Gentle natured Mikey wasn't violent by any means, but when it came to his family, he'd do anything to protect them, especially Raphael, who he looked up to and was the closest to.

"Get in line," Leo said. "It's my fault. We were talking, had a fight and I left him there. I never would have if I'd known that Shredder was going to turn up."

Splinter placed a paw on his shoulder and said, "Leonardo, it's not your fault, my son. Please don't blame yourself. It is Shredder's fault and when the time comes, although I don't usually condone vengeance, this time I'll make an exception. For Raphael."

"For Raph," the brothers said in unison.

Don gently ran his hands across Raphael's slit and withdrew his flaccid cock. "No damage to it," he said. Then, getting a forceps, he pried the slit open and peered inside. The odor of dried blood and semen assaulted his senses, and to his immense horror he saw a tear in the lining of his brother's anus. Gasping audibly, Don took a closer look before saying, "Raph's got a tear in the lining of his anus. That creep must have done a real number on him. He's going to be in extreme agony when he wakes up, especially during and following bowel movements. He may also experience bleeding, itching and a malodorous discharge."

"A what, Donnie?" Leo asked.

"A smelly, putrid discharge. I can treat him with home remedies and OTC products by adding bulk to the stool, softening the stool and telling you to give him a high fiber diet. I'd say also a sitz bath, but we don't have that. If that doesn't work, we'll need prescription drugs that include ointments containing anesthetics, steroids, nitroglycerin, and calcium channel blocking drugs (CCBs). Raphael also has three fractured ribs and multiple bruises all over his body."

"So he should recover?" Splinter asked.

"Physically, yes, Sensei, but emotionally, I don't know. Raph always prides himself on his masculinity and he'll see this as an attack on his manhood and that he's weak and pathetic. We'll have to monitor him closely, because he may suffer from PTSD, self-loathing and attempt to take his life. He's also going to need a lot of emotional support, but not babying him. He hates that. He'll want to be treated the same as he was before. Because he's still Raph and Raph would never want to be molly cuddled. And we'll have to be strong and not break down in front of him. He needs our strength, as well as our love. If we're not strong, Raph will find it harder to recover. Can you do that, Mikey? I know you're closest to him and it must be extremely distressing to see him this way."

Mikey looked at Raphael and shook his head. "No. I love him, Donnie, but I don't have that inner strength. Not like you and Leo. Every time I look at Raph, I want to cry. It's too much seeing him this way. I'll cook and bring him things, but I can't be that wall of strength he needs. Not now. I'm not ready. I know that sounds so awful of me, but…"

"It's okay, Mikey," Leo said. "Raph knows you love him. You be with him when you're ready, okay?"

"I love Raph," Don said. "And I'll be his doctor, but I also can't give him what he needs. You can, Leo. You're the one he admires most, despite your constant fighting. You can be his pillar of strength."

Leo nodded and said, "I'll do whatever it takes to help Raph."

"Donatello, I thought you and Raphael were mates?" Splinter said.

"No, Sensei," Don said sheepishly. "We broke up and decided to pursue other avenues. It was amicable. I've done all I can for Raph in the meanwhile. All we can do now is wait for him to wake up. Leo, you'll stay with him?"

"Of course," Leo said, pulling up a chair and sitting down by the bed. "There's no other place I'd be."

After the others had left, Leo took Raphael's hand in his and whispered, as tears ran down his cheeks, "Raph, my warrior brother. I love you so much. Please wake up. I'm so sorry for the hurtful things I said. I wish I could take them back." He bowed his head, letting more tears stream freely and said, "I don't want the last words we had to be ones of anger. Please wake up. I need you. We all need you."

"Leo, there's something I should tell you," Don said, entering the room. "If you're going to be caring for him, you need to know his medical condition. His entire medical condition. In time, the others will learn of it too."

Leo quirked an eye ridge and said, "There's more?"

"Raph and I had sex a total of once, because his condition freaked me out. I saw it and pretended all was fine, as we lay in bed afterwards, but it wasn't. I started avoiding him without telling him why and that's when I cheated on him, so he'd dump me. Which he didn't. Even after that, so I dumped him and told him I couldn't be with someone like him."

"I don't understand. What's wrong with him? Is he sick?"

"Raph has male and female parts, Leo, and I just couldn't. I was so repulsed. For me it's one gender or nothing, you know, and he's my brother anyway, so it was probably wrong. How we ended up together was the result of a night of drinking. I regret it. While I love Raph, I was never in love with Raph. You know what I mean? Anyway, that's not it. Mercifully, Raph didn't fall gravid, but…."

Leo swallowed thickly, realizing what Donnie was about to say. "You telling me that there's a chance Raph may become gravid by Shredder?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Leo. And what's more it could be a human baby."

Bile rose in Leo's throat at the revolting thought and he upchucked onto the floor. His brother gravid with their nemesis's spawn. His sweet, baby brother going through it all alone, feeling violated, and angry and alone. No, he won't be alone, Leo thought. I'll be there for him. Every step of the way and help him if there are babies. I know exactly what I have to do.

"Leo, you okay?" Don asked, concern in his hazel eyes.

"I'm fine. Look, can you give me a minute? I need to do something."

"Sure. I also think Raph has a crush on you. If you ever felt the same way about him, you have to ask yourself if you could handle his condition and babies. I suppose that's a hypothetical given you're with Lotus, but…Raph would need to know that a partner accepts him for who he is."

"Now, Donnie!"

When Don had left, Leo yanked out his cell and made a call. There was no answer, so he left a message, grabbed Raphael's hand and said "Raph, I'm sorry for all that's happened and right now I'm so terribly confused about so much. Lotus, you, our kiss, but I swear that no matter what you won't be alone even if it sacrifices my happiness. And I'm not disgusted that you have male and female parts. You're still my little brother and I'll always love you."

Green eyes flickered open and an anguished cry escaped Raphael's throat, as pain coursed through his body. "Raph!" Leo exclaimed. "You're awake."

"ARGH!"

"I'll get Donnie. Oh, Raph. I thought…"

"Leo? Am I dead?"

"No, Raph."

"The rooftop, we fought, so cold, rain, Shredder…"

"Don't talk," Leo said, placing a finger on Raph's lips. "I'll get Donnie. You're going to be okay."

"Ya said ya love me? Heard ya. Thought ya didn't."

"I love you, Raph. Very much. I always have. I don't belong with Lotus. You were right. Let me…"

Emerald hands reached for Leo's, who grasped them, and Raphael said, "More than brothers?"

"Yes," Leo lied. "And we'll get through this together. I'm sorry, Raph. So very sorry for the cruel words I said. We're perfect for one another. I'll be right back." Leo went in search of Donatello and thought, it could grow into love, right? And I've done the right thing haven't I? My happiness doesn't matter. All that matters is that Raph's happy and makes a full recovery.


	3. Promises

Don returned with Leo and gazed at his injured brother lying on the stretcher, looking so frail and broken and it pierced his heart. Raphael had never been fragile or broken, had always been the protector, the strong one they always counted on, the one who never backed down in a fight, quick with his fists, and here he was, a shadow of himself, so vulnerable, so lost. "Hi," Don said, trying not to break down, remembering his brother wouldn't welcome that. He needed strength and not seeing his brothers crumble. "Welcome back, Raph. How do you feel?"

"Fine," Raphael snapped, forcing himself to a sitting position and immediately grimacing, as pain coursed through his tail and slit. Biting his lip to keep from crying out, he said, "Gonna get up now, so back off and let me. Wanna sleep in my own room. Hate the infirmary. It's for sick people. Not me."

"Raph," Leo said gently. "I think it's best you stay here for the foreseeable future and you need your mask and gear removed, so Donnie has better access to your injuries. Lie back and rest…."

"I ain't no fuckin' pussy and porcelain doll that's gonna break, Leo," Raphael hissed. "Don't treat me as such. I'm still Raphael, the muscle."

"Yes, yes, I know, baby, but you've been through hell and you need to rest and get your strength back. That's all, Raph. No one says you're weak and it wasn't your fault. You're not a victim, sweetheart. You're a survivor and so incredibly courageous. We'll get through this together. I promise. I'm going to be here every step of the way, so know you're never alone."

"Exactly," Don said, quirking an eye ridge at Leo's words. He'd thought Lotus and Leo were a couple. "And I'm here too. I know you don't want me examining you, Raph, but I have to from time to time to ensure you're healing."

Mollified somewhat, Raphael tentatively reached for Leo's hand and said, "Fine, but there's somethin' I gotta tell ya, Leo, if we're gonna…. I don't know…see if things could work between us. I got male and female parts, so it's possible we could have babies. See what a fuckin' freak I am? Donnie couldn't handle it and bolted!"

Shame colored Don's cheeks, as Leo said, "Raph, I'm not Donnie. I'm me and I love you no matter what condition you have. You're perfect to me and if we have babies, that'll be the cherry on the cake. A huge blessing." Leo kissed Raphael's hand and added, "Besides, I've always wondered what it'd be like having kids and I can think of no one better to have a family with than you. You're my hero, Raph, and always have been."

Raphael ducked his head, blushing profusely, and whispered, "Me and Donnie had sex once, but I didn't fall gravid. Friggin' lucky there, but there's a possibility I could fall gravid with tin can's baby and it could be human…."

"I know, sweet Raph," Leo said, and kissed his cheek, making Raphael redden. "If that happens, know I'll support you no matter what you decide to do."

"Thanks, Leo," Raphael said, gazing at him tenderly.

"I promised I'll be here and I'll never leave you, Raph. We're in this together." He peppered Raphael's face with soft kisses and added, "Going to show you what love is every moment of every day."

Raphael flushed and said, "Leo…."

"Going to make you realize just what a sensational guy you are. You're amazing, Raph. So smart, sexy, perfect in every way. I'm honored you love me and I'll do whatever I can to make you happy."

Emerald eyes studied sapphire ones and choking back a sob, Raphael said, "Thank ya, Leo. I'm so grateful yer here with me."

Don coughed and said, "I hate to interrupt, but I'd like to talk to Raph about his injuries."

"I'll be outside, Raph," Leo said.

"No! I want ya here with me. Please, Leo. Don't go."

"I won't," Leo said, stroking his hand.

Feeling more at ease that Leo wasn't leaving, Raphael allowed Don to strip his gear and mask off of him and said, "Okay, Donnie. What's the extent of my injuries?"

"Well," Don said, as he rubbed more lotion over Raphael's body.

"Go on."

"It's..."

Don, finished with the lotion, Raphael quickly covered himself with the bedcovers, embarrassed by his nudity, and said, "Tell me. I can take it."

Don took a deep breath and said, "You have a tearing in the lining of your anus, Raph, and you're going to be in a lot of agony, especially during and following bowel movements. You may also experience bleeding, itching and a smelly discharge. I can treat you with home remedies and OTC products by adding bulk to the stool, softening the stool and ensuring you have a high fiber diet. If that doesn't work, we'll need prescription drugs that include ointments containing anesthetics, steroids, nitroglycerin, and calcium channel blocking drugs (CCBs). You also have three fractured ribs and multiple bruises all over your body. You should make a full recovery, Raph, but it'll take some time, so you need lots of rest and you need to take your medication. Then there's the mental and emotional aspect of it. I know you're not one to talk about feelings, but in this case, please make an exception. It's a lot to deal with alone. I'm always here and Sensei and Mikey and of course, Leo."

"Will I ever be able ta have sex again?"

"I don't see why not once you've healed, but it shouldn't be your number one priority, Raph, and Leo understands that, don't you, Leo?"

"Of course," Leo said. Making love to Raph, Leo thought in abject mortification? I hadn't thought of it. Of course he'll want to make love once he heals. The idea disgusts me, but….

"Good," Raphael said. "How long do ya think it'll be before I can go back ta my room or am I gonna move in with ya, Leo?"

Again, something else Leo hadn't considered. Sharing a room with his immediate younger brother. "Whatever you want," Leo managed. "After all, we're a couple now and it's normal to share a room."

"I'm gonna be just fine," Raphael said bravely. "I got Leo, Donnie, and I'm gonna be up and walkin' before long and back on patrol. Chrome dome ain't gonna make me scared of my own shadow. I'm back, Donnie. And I'm gonna get revenge on tin grin. See how he likes the taste of steel up his ass! I'm a badass, not a weakling!"

"I sure hope so," Don said, not convinced. He'd read up on rape survivors and the PTSD they went through afterwards, some of them committing suicide, unable to deal with their self-loathing and degradation and he had a feeling there was still a long road ahead. It was just like Raphael to declare he was okay when he wasn't, but his strong act wasn't fooling him and he knew it wouldn't fool Leo either. He was grateful Leo was there for Raphael, but it unnerved him how suddenly he'd gotten with Raphael when just days prior he'd been with Lotus. I have to talk to Leo and clear up things, he thought.

"And, Donnie," Raphael said. "Don't tell the family 'bout my condition or what could happen. I wanna be the one ta tell them when I'm ready."

"Of course. Take all the time you need."

"I'm just getting you some food, Raph. I'll be back soon," Leo said. "Okay, baby?" he said, and kissed Raphael's beak.

"Okay. Hey, Leo, if it's not too much trouble…"

"Nothing's too much trouble," Leo said, and kissed his knuckles on his hand.

"Can ya get me some hot chocolate with marshmallows?"

"Yes. I'll be back now, sweetheart," Leo said, and touched his lips to Raphael's.

"Get some rest, Raph," Don said. "And know my door is always open."

XXX

Inside the kitchen, as Leo prepared Raphael's food, he and Donnie were talking. "So," Don said over his coffee cup. "Since when are you and Raph a couple? Are you even gay? What about you and Lotus? Do you even love Raph as more than a brother?"

Leo turned around and said, "We kissed on the rooftop and that's why I stormed off. I was shocked and told him it was wrong for him to love me. We're brothers."

"Not biologically."

"We were still raised as brothers. And don't bring up Mikey. That was a one-time drunken mistake. I've never thought of you guys as anything, but my brothers. My little brothers and my heart's always been with Lotus, but that kiss did awake something. I don't know what…."

"So everything you said in there was a lie, Leo? How much you care for him and how wonderful he is and he's your hero?"

"No, that part was true. He is my hero and I do care for him as my brother. It could grow into love, right, Don?"

Anger flared up in Don's eyes and he hissed, "Raphael doesn't need it to grow, Leo. He needs it now and to know you really do love him and emotional support. It's unfair to him to lie to him and he's going to be devastated. What if the feelings don't grow? What then? You're with someone you don't love and poor Raph could have been with someone, who genuinely loved him. Think about that. You need to be honest with him. Not now. When he's had some time to recuperate. Telling him now…I can't believe this. What about Lotus?"

"I called her and broke things off, Don, and I meant what I said. I'll be there for Raph. I made a promise to him and I can't back out."

"Yeah, you'll look like a shit. I know what you're doing. Trying to help Raph, but telling him you love him when you don't isn't helping, Leo. It's cruel. And you're far from a cruel person, so do the right thing, okay?"

Leo nodded and said, "I will. Do you love him and regret cheating on him?"

"I regret hurting him, yes, and not being honest with him, but I don't regret what April and I did. I love her, Leo, and I know she loves me. As for Raph, my love doesn't extend beyond brotherly and I regret what we had. It shouldn't have happened. I'm beat. Remember what I said, Leo. Despite Raph's gruff exterior, he's a gentle soul, possibly the most sensitive of us."

"I understand. Night, Don."

XXX

Leo carried the food and drink on a tray into the infirmary and set it down on the table. "Hey, baby," Leo said softly and took Raphael's hand in his.

"Hi," Raphael said. "Ya were gone a long time."

"Talking to Donnie. You need another pillow, anything else?"

"Just ya bein' here is enough. It's funny," Raphael said and gave a dry laugh.

"What is?"

"Took me bein' raped for ya ta confess yer feelings 'bout me. Would ya have done so if I hadn't been raped?"

"Yes. I realized right away after we fought how dumb I was and I wanted to call you, but I thought you'd still be mad and would ignore me," Leo lied.

"Oh."

"It doesn't matter now, Raph," Leo said, stroking his cheek. "We're together."

"What 'bout Lotus?"

"I called things off. I don't want her. Only you."

"But I'm fucked up and a hot mess, Leo," Raphael said, stifling a sob and tears pricking his eyes.

"Hey, hey," Leo said gently and kissed his lips. "You're not fucked up or a hot mess. You're still my warrior brother and….mate, the most courageous guy I've ever known and you will get through this. We will. I promise."

"Do ya hate me?"

"Now why would I hate you?"

"Because…I…He…was in me, Leo, and I couldn't fight back. I was powerless and then it started feelin' good after a while and then it fuckin' hurt again and I couldn't do nothin', but lie there, Leo, and I cried. I screamed, like a fuckin' pussy. I was weak and everythin' I despised. And the tears wouldn't stop comin'. I hate myself for fuckin' lettin' him see me that way. I thought I was indestructible, Leo, but I ain't. I'm pathetic and ya have every right ta hate me. I hate myself," Raphael said, bowing his head and weeping uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking.

Leo hadn't seen Raphael sob since they were kids and it broke his heart. He tilted Raphael's face up and gazed into his stunning emerald eyes and whispered, "Baby, it wasn't your fault and you aren't weak. And I could never hate you. Nothing you could say or do would make me hate you. You're incredible. I love you, Raph. Look at me and repeat after me, 'I, Hamato, Raphael, am incredible.'

"That's stupid, Leo."

"No, it's not. Do it."

Raphael sniffed and said, "I, Hamato, Raphael, am incredible."

"And a figher and warrior and brave."

"And a fighter and warrior and brave."

"And sexy and smart and gorgeous…."

"Leo!"

"Go on."

"And sexy and smart and gorgeous."

"Leo's hero and adored by him."

"Leo's hero and adored by him."

"Keep saying that to yourself, Raphie. It's true. All of it."

"Raphie…Ya haven't called me that in years."

"You don't like it?"

"No….I like it when ya call me it," Raphael said bashfully. "This is so surreal. Me, ya, us. I can't believe ya like me back."

"Believe it, sweetheart. Now, drink up and eat. And then rest."

"Okay. Yer not eatin'?"

"I'll grab something later."

Leo handed him the tray and Raphael ate and drank. Then Raphael lay down again, settling back against the pillows, and stretched out his arms. "Leo, will ya sleep with me?"

"Of course," Leo said, stripping off his gear and mask and climbing into bed. Raphael looked at him approvingly and Leo blushed. Other than Mikey, no one had seen him naked and he felt shy.

"Better," Raphael said, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling into his neck, inhaling his musk scent. "Need ya beside me, Leo. Need ta know yer here and I'm safe. Fuck, I sound sappy sayin' that."

"I'm not going anywhere," Leo said and kissed his forehead. "Not now. Not ever. Rest, Raphie. I love you."

"Love ya too," Raphael said, and closed his eyes.

Raphael soon fell asleep, and, as Leo listened to his gentle snoring, he thought, Donnie's right. Once Raph's better and if I haven't fallen in love with him, I have to be honest and tell him. He deserves someone who loves him. I just hope he doesn't hate me.


	4. The call

Leo's phone dinged later that night, and gently prying himself away from Raphael, he picked it up off of the dresser, read the message, got up and headed to the dojo, where he knew he would have privacy. After switching on the light, he made a call. "Lotus, I thought I was clear in the text that we're done."

"I got that part, but why?" Lotus asked. "Is it something I've done?"

"It's not you, Lotus. It's me. My feelings have changed and I can't be with you. I wish you…"

"Is there someone else?" Lotus asked jealously, her voice rising.

"Yes. Look, I never meant…."

"You cheated on me, Leonardo!" Lotus screamed. "How could you when I've always been faithful? Who did you bed? Was it April? That weird Alopex I met once? Who? I deserve to know!"

"I'm going to hang up now, Lotus. I'm sorry," Leo began, as a shriek echoed throughout the sewer, piercing Leo's heart. _Raphael._

Leo disconnected the call and ran to his bedroom, finding Raphael curled up in a ball on the bed, his thumb in his mouth, as he whined softly, "Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me. I'll be good and do whatever ya want."

"Raph," Leo said, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's Leo. Are you okay? Talk to me, baby."

Raphael looked up and Leo saw that his face was streaked with tears and sweat beaded his forehead. "Ya weren't here when I woke up," Raphael said accusatorily, removing his thumb from his mouth. "Ya promised ya'd never leave me."

"I'm here now, baby," Leo said, sitting down, scooting closer to him and taking his hand "Did you have a nightmare?"

Nodding, Raphael trembled and said, "Yeah. I was on the roof top and Chrome Dome had his cock in me and I couldn't do nothin' 'bout it. Just lie there and take it. Fuckin' every part of me hurt. It felt so real, Leo, like he was here, ya know, and then I woke up and ya were gone."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Leo said, and kissed his knuckles. "I had to…"

"Raphael," Splinter called from outside the bedroom. "Are you all right, my son?"

"Raph?" Mikey said, standing next to Splinter. "Bro, you okay?"

"I heard crying. Did you have a nightmare?" Don asked from beside Mikey. "Raph?"

"I'm okay. Just a nightmare," Raphael said. "Leo's here. Ya guys can go back ta sleep. Sorry for wakin' ya."

"You have nothing to apologize for, my son," Splinter said. "Know you can always talk to me."

"I'm okay, Pops, but thanks. I got Leo and he's gonna take care of me."

"In that case, come along, Donatello and Michelangelo. If Raphael wants us, he'll summon us."

XXX

"Why did ya leave me, Leo?" Raphael demanded, as he wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.

"I had to do something that was pressing. I'm sorry."

"If ya don't wanna be with me, just go ahead and say it, okay? I wouldn't wanna be with me either. Mr fuck up, used piece of trash that I am. Tell me now, before things go too far and don't feel like ya gotta be with me and help me if there are babies. They ain't yer problem. They're mine and mine alone…."

"Whoa!" Leo said and placed a finger on Raphael's lips, preventing him from speaking further. "You're not used trash. You're not trash. Period. I do want to be with you and the babies are ours to look after. I'm not with you out of pity. I love you, Raphael. Every inch of you. From your stunning green eyes, right down to your cute little butt and tail and I want to spend my life with you." Raphael blushed and Leo added, "I love your fiery nature, your sarkiness, your smile, your devotion to our family and I could go on forever how incredible you are. I'm sorry I left you, but it was necessary."

"Why?" Raphael asked, removing Leo's finger. "If ya love me so damn much, why did ya leave me? What would be so urgent in the damn middle of the night?"

"I called Lotus and reiterated that we were done. She didn't take it well and believes I cheated and I let her think so. Who cares what she thinks anyway? All that matters is you, takara. Only you. Now and forever. I'm going to take good care of you and show you how amazing you are."

Raphael smiled and opened his arms. Leo pulled him close and hugged him tightly and Raphael said, as he buried his nose in Leo's neck, "Never leave me again, Leo. Please. I feel stronger with ya and I couldn't do this alone."

"I'll never leave you," Leo said and nuzzled Raphael's cheek. "Never. When you feel better, we're going to go somewhere wonderful. Just you and I."

"Ya mean like a couples' vacation?" Raphael asked, when they'd pulled apart.

"Exactly that," Leo said, while thinking, that'll be weird. Me and Raph alone together romantically in a foreign place.

"I'd like that. I'm sure we'll get alone time here, but outta the lair with just us and more privacy, would be great, but sex…..I'm not ready for that yet, Leo. I'm sorry."

"That's all right," Leo said, internally relieved. The idea of mating with his brother still repulsed him. "There's no rush. Just focus on getting better and know I'm here with you. Always."

"But ya should know I'm a horn dog when I'm up ta it, Leo."

"But you only had sex once."

"Yeah, but I still have a high sex drive and masturbate, Leo."

I don't want to hear this, Leo thought. Changing the subject, he said, "Think you can sleep now, Raph?"

Raphael chuckled and Leo said, "What's so funny?"

"Ya. Ya don't like talkin' 'bout sex, do ya? Come on, Leo. If we're gonna be together, that's gonna eventually happen, ya know, and couples talk 'bout it and what they want. What their kinks are. Ya have kinks, Leo?"

"Kinks?"

"Quirks. Things ya'd like ta do."

"Oh. I don't know. Do you?"

"Bondage might be fun …."

"But you're not up to sex."

"No, but I'm gonna work at myself, so I will want it, because I know ya will never hurt me. I trust ya, Leo."

"Raph, even if you never want sex, that's okay. Relationships aren't just about sex."

"I know that, but sex is a huge part of them and helps couples grow even closer. There's nothin' more intimate than a cuddle after a good round of sex, or so I've read anyway. Didn't happen ta me. Donnie ran away when he saw what I am, but I think it could be like that with us. Ya need ta loosen up, Leo. It's okay ta discuss feelings and sex, especially with yer mate."

"I'll try."

"Hey, did Mikey regret things with ya?"

"Yes."

"So I don't gotta worry 'bout no rivals. What 'bout Lotus? Will she be vengeful?"

"Lotus will soon meet someone else, I'm sure and you don't have to worry. My heart belongs to you, stud."

Raphael grinned and leant in for a deep and sensual kiss, his hand resting on Leo's knee. "How was that?" Raphael asked, when they'd pulled apart.

"You're an amazing kisser," Leo said, and he really did mean it, but he was still unsure about his feelings for Raphael. Could I really love him for real, Leo thought? He deserves love and I'm going to try. He needs me. No going back now. I can't do that to him.

"What ya thinkin', baby?" Raphael said. "Ya look distant."

"Just how happy I am. In this moment and how gorgeous you look. You're like an oil painting. Mine. So magnificent. A masterpiece. Gruff exterior, but gooey like a marshmallow beneath."

Raphael laughed and said, "Ya ain't so bad yerself, handsome. Thank ya, Leo. For bein' with me, lovin' me and helpin' me. I am grateful."

"It's what bro….mates do," Leo said, and cupped his cheek. "I have your back, Raphael. For life. Now, let's get some sleep unless you need anything else?"

"Just ya," Raphael said, and stifled a yawn.

Leo kissed him gently and they lay down, snuggled close, Raphael's arms around him, his head nestled in the crook of Leo's neck. Leo kissed the top of his head and whispered, "Love you, Raphie."

"Love ya too, Leo," Raphael yawned, and closed his eyes.

Not long after, Raphael was fast asleep, and, as Leo watched him and silent tears ran down his face, he thought, Lotus, I hope one day you understand that I had no choice. Raph needed me and family always comes before everything else. Even love.


	5. Sweet nothings

Raphael woke early the next morning and grinned when he saw Leo next to him, arms still around him and softly snoring. _Can't believe Leo's mine. Gonna show him how much I love him every day and never gonna let him go. He's perfection. Lotus better not try anythin'. I don't like fightin' girls, but I'll make an exception for her. He's mine._ Raphael continued to watch his brother, still amazed that Leo could want a "fuckup" like him. After all, Leo was basically Splinter Junior and he was the rebel, the loner, black sheep and a freak, who was intersex. Raphael had been repulsed when he found out about his condition, revolted at the thought that he, a male, could lay eggs, but now he found himself thinking that if Leo accepted him for who he was, maybe he could too. Maybe having babies wouldn't be such a bad thing, even if it was the Shredder's. Leo had vowed to stay with him no matter what and with Leo's strength and support, Raphael thought, I could get through anythin'.

Sapphire eyes opened and Leo said, "You're staring at me."

"Yeah," Raphael said, stretching out a hand and tracing Leo's jawline. "Yer beautiful. Inside and out. Thank ya for acceptin' me."

Leo flushed and said, "That's what…mates do. They accept one another for who they are and support one another through the good and bad times. I'll never leave you, Raphie. How are you feeling?"

Raphael's eyes shone with happy tears and he whispered, "I won't either, Leo. Yer mine. I'm a little sore, but I don't want no meds or Don. I just want ya."

"You sure?"

"Ya know I fuckin' hate medicine."

"Donnie said…"

"Fuck what Donnie said. I don't want no meds or anyone but ya touchin' me."

"Donnie has to, so that he knows you're healing. Raphael, stop being obstinate. He's the doctor. It's his job and you need the meds. It won't be for long, sweetheart. I promise. Just until you're all better."

"Fine," Raphael said reluctantly. "But I ain't gonna stay in bed for longer than I gotta. Ain't infirm. I hate bein' in bed. It's borin'."

"Even with me here? I can bring you video games and movies and it won't be for long."

"No. Ain't borin' with ya. I just hate bein' in bed when I'd rather be doin' other things, ya know. I'm restless, Leo, but when we make love, I think it'll be awesome lyin' in bed all day and goin' multiple rounds. I intend ta blow yer mind."

Leo inwardly flinched and thought, I still can't wrap my head around that idea. Mating with Raph. It's so weird picturing us in bed. Him underneath me or vice versa. He's my brother. I…

"Leo? Ya don't like that idea? Yer lookin' almost sickened at the idea of us makin' love."

"No, no," Leo said quickly. "I'm looking forward to it. Really."

"Ya tryin' ta convince yerself or me?"

"Neither. I'm serious. I can't wait to show you how much I love you, to know that only I am the source of your pleasure, to see your gorgeous face flushed, your head thrown back in ecstasy. To bring you bliss over and over again and to help you forget all the hell you've endured."

"Me either, but I don't wanna be uke, okay?"

"What's that?"

"Bottom. That just ain't me, especially after what happened. Makes me feel scared and weak. I'm dominant, an alpha and not a sub."

"Whatever you want, we'll do."

"Thanks."

"You are mine and I'll never abuse you. I promise," Leo said, grabbing Raphael's hand. He kissed it and added, "Mine. Always and forever. Hey, do you know what tomorrow is?"

"Wednesday, November sixteenth."

"Funny. It's a very special day. The day you hatched and blessed the world with your appearance. Have you thought about what you'd like for your present?"

"Already got it."

"Oh?"

"Ya. All I need and want."

"That's sweet, but there must be something you'd like."

"Haven't thought 'bout it. Ta me it's just a regular day. Ya know I hate a fuss."

"We're a couple now, Raphie, and while we'll celebrate each day together, other days we'll make extra special, like birthdays and holidays, so stop making your birthday sound like an ordinary day. It's not. I kind of remember you hatching and as little as I was, Sensei let me hold you. You were so tiny and exquisite even then. A cherished bundle. Let me spoil you, Raphie, like you deserve. Let me celebrate you," Leo said and kissed his beak.

Raphael blushed and whispered, "Okay, but don't go too crazy."

"I'll go as crazy as I like. After all your birthday is only once a year." Leo's eyes gleamed, as he thought of what he could do for his brother and he said, "I know what I'm going to do."

"Any hints?"

"Nope. It's a surprise, but you'll love it."

"Tease. I hate surprises. They're never good. Look at Mikey's."

Leo chuckled and said, "I'm not Mikey and you're going to love what I have planned."

"Leo, I ain't worth makin' a fuss 'bout."

"Stop with the negativity, Raphie. You're amazing and I'm going to keep telling you that for as long as I live even if you hate it."

"I don't hate ya tellin' me it. I just don't believe it."

"I will keep telling you until you believe it and then I still won't stop," Leo said and cupped Raphael's cheek.

Raphael smiled softly and said, "How did I get so lucky ta have ya?"

"I'm the lucky one. I have you and we're probably going to have babies. Little ones I never dreamed I'd have. I probably wouldn't have had with Lotus, because we're two different species. I'm an extremely lucky turtle."

"Even if I drive ya up the pole with my moods?"

"Yes, Raphie. Couples love one another no matter what and if shit happens, they work at it and communicate. I will never stop loving you even when I'm decrepit."

"Bet ya will still be beautiful even then," Raphael said, feeling reassured. "Do I gotta be called Mommy?"

"That's your call, Raph. I still think of you the same way. My sweet, handsome prince and not a girl."

"Good, because I still consider myself a boy. I'm Daddy and ya can be Papa or we can both be Daddy."

"That's fine."

"I know ya've always dreamed of livin' in Japan. That was the plan with Lotus, wasn't it? Do ya still wanna move there?"

"Only if you do. If you don't, I'm happy living here, as long as you're with me. My home is wherever you are, Raphie."

"Sap!" Raphael said and beamed. "Man, I feel so happy right now, I could burst. I think I'm gonna be okay."

"You're going to be more than okay, Raphie," Leo said and peppered his face with gentle kisses. "I promise. I'll see to it that you are and that you have everything you need and desire."

Raphael blushed and said, "Yer gonna make me cry. I ain't used ta such sweet talk."

"I know, but you'll get used to it, my little marshmallow. My takara."

"My shell itches with all this mushy stuff," Raphael huffed, while secretly thrilled at how much his brother adored him. He'd craved Leo's affection for as long as he could remember and now he had it.

"Rubbish. You're lapping it all up, aren't you?"

"Ya know me too well. I am. I've always loved ya, Leo. I'm so grateful for ya, this new beginnin', us, and I ain't ever gonna do nothin' ta fuck it up. I'll never cheat or make ya feel ya ain't loved."

"Ditto."

A knock sounded on the door and Raphael huffed in annoyance and said, "Always interruptions. Who's there?"

"Just me, Raphael," Splinter said. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

Splinter entered the room, carrying a tray on which was a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee. Spying his sons in bed together, he did not think anything of it, because Leo had often stayed in his brothers' beds when they were ill, but he was unprepared for what came next.

"I'm afraid I only brought breakfast for Raphael, Leonardo," Splinter said. "I thought you may have gone to your own room."

"No, Sensei," Leo said, his cheeks flamed, praying Raphael said nothing about their relationship. "Raph's not well and I figured he could use company, so I stayed. I'll go now. I am sure you and Raph have a lot to discuss."

"Ya don't gotta go, Leo," Raphael said, grabbing Leo's hand. "Sensei, there's somethin' me and Leo wanna say. We love one another."

"Of course you do. You're brothers," Splinter said, placing the tray on Raphael's lap. "That's normal, Raphael."

"No! Love one another, like I loved Donnie before. That kinda love."

"But Leonardo is engaged to marry Lotus. Raphael, I do not understand," Splinter said, staring hard at Leo and making the forest green turtle wither under his gaze. He felt awkward and badly wished a hole would appear and swallow him up. Trust Raph to blurt it out, Leo thought bitterly. Now I'm trapped even more. Can't go back without looking like an asshole.

"He never loved her," Raphael declared. "And always wanted me, but was scared ta admit his feelings. Last night, he realized how dumb he was bein' and told me he loved me and well, we're a couple now and he dumped Lotus. I'm so happy, Sensei. I've always loved Leo."

"I see," Splinter said, while thinking, I know why Leonardo is suddenly with Raphael. He doesn't love him more than a brother. He loves Lotus and always has, but feels guilty about the events on the rooftop and feels he owes it to Raphael to sacrifice his shot at love and to be with him. Guilt is not a good way to start a relationship and I need to talk to Leonardo.

"Yer not happy for us, Sensei?" Raphael asked disappointedly.

"I'm surprised, my son," Splinter said. "But if you two are serious about one another, I will not hold you back and I wish you both much happiness. You have my blessing."

"Thank ya, Sensei," Raphael said and pressed a kiss to Leo's cheek. "Ain't that awesome, Leo?"

"Yeah," Leo muttered.

"You're not happy, Leo?"

"I am. Thank you, Sensei."

"You are welcome, my son. Raphael, eat your breakfast. There's something I wish to discuss with Leonardo privately."

"Is it serious, Sensei?" Raphael asked in alarm. "Ya ain't gonna send Leo away, are ya? I need him."

"No, no. Nothing like that. I want to discuss your birthday. That is all. Eat and then rest. We won't be long."

"Okay. I love ya, Leo."

"Love you too, Raph," Leo said, his heart sinking. He knew what Splinter really wanted to discuss.

As the aged rat and Leo left the room, Raphael thought, as he ate his cereal, Dad always said 'there's always a pot of gold over the rainbow, ya just gotta search for it.' That pot of gold is my Leo and he's one good thing that came out of yesterday. I'm so grateful for him and even more that Dad's given us his blessin'. I'm a very, very lucky boy and I won't ever take Leo for granted.

 **A/N How will Leo's talk with Splinter go? And will Lotus turn up?**

 **Thanks for the kudos and reviews.**


	6. Leo's talk with Splinter

Splinter studied his eldest son and said, "Leonardo, while I gave my blessing to you and Raphael, I find it most peculiar that your desires have shifted towards him, a male, when you've always liked females and when you're engaged to Lotus. I can only assume something tremendous has happened, like guilt, to trigger such a change."

Leo nodded and said, "You're right, Sensei. I feel responsible for what happened to him and that's why I'm with him. If I hadn't left him…"Leo's voice trailed off, his eyes misting over.

Splinter gently placed a paw on his shoulder and said, "That wasn't your fault, Leonardo. You have to stop blaming yourself and you have to be honest with Lotus and Raphael."

"I broke up with Lotus. I didn't specify why. Just that it was over. She accused me of being unfaithful. I never have been. Never. I always loved and respected her."

"So she's gone, but you're lying to Raphael. Do you not think that is wrong, my son?"

"Not if it makes Raph feel better. Look at him, Sensei. He's smiling, so happy and I'm the cause of it."

"That's altruistic, Leonardo, yes, but you aren't happy and do you really think Raphael won't eventually realize that and question it? He is smart."

"I can learn to be happy and love him more than a brother."

"Learn? My son, love isn't something you learn. You either feel it or you don't. You should end this charade right now before Raphael's hurt further."

"I can't do that," Leo said, dragging his hands down his face. "Raph's excited about our future together. I've never seen him so animated about anything else before. And he's already been betrayed by Donnie, who cheated on him and dumped him when he learned that Raph was intersex. I can't do that to Raph. It'd crush him. Sensei, I just can't. It's such a mess, I know, but my only option is to be with Raph, to learn to love him and to be his mate. I can fake it if I have to. I've faked things before…"

"But it's unfair on Raphael and yourself, Leonardo. You don't have to be a martyr. Be honest with Raphael."

Leo stubbornly shook his head and said, "I can't do that, Sensei. I failed him by not being there for him on the roof top and leaving him and I can't do that now. I have to do this for Raph, as much as it pains me. The thing I'm most dreading is sex with him. I mean, I know how males have sex. I had sex with Mikey once, but this was never on the cards for me now. And I'm going to be sharing a bed with him. We did as kids, but it's going to be different, because Raphael will expect sex and kisses and cuddles, like he deserves and….I'm not turned on by it. His hands touching me in places where they shouldn't be! But I have no choice. Do you understand?"

"You had sex with Michelangelo?" Splinter said in surprise, his eyes wide.

"It was a drunken mistake, Sensei," Leo said, his cheeks red. "Both of us regretted it."

"I see. That's why you should never imbibe alcohol and it's why I forbid it. Alcohol dulls the senses and leads to actions that shouldn't happen! Guilt is never a good basis for a relationship and lies aren't either. I can tell Raphael and send you away to Japan, so you won't face his wrath. It'll sting, but in time, he'll forgive you."

"No."

"I can retract the blessing and forbid your union or I can give you a specified time limit. If you haven't fallen in love with Raphael for real in six weeks, I'll retract the blessing and I'll expect you to tell Raphael the truth. I cannot allow the farce to continue for all eternity, Leonardo. For yours and Raphael's sakes. Do I make myself clear?"

"Hai, Sensei. That seems reasonable and what if I don't fall in love with him, will you send me away? I couldn't bear his animosity."

"Yes. To Japan and you can try and rekindle your relationship with Lotus. You are dismissed."

"Sensei, it's Raph's birthday tomorrow. I'd like to do something really special for him. Is it possible that we can have the lair to ourselves?"

"You plan on seducing your brother?" Splinter asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No! Of course not," Leo said in horror. "It's just... Fine. I want to cook for him and just have a special meal with only us present. If I have to go into this romance thing, I have to get to know him better and he's more susceptible to opening up if we have privacy."

"I don't see why not, but Donatello has to be within earshot in the lab in case of a medical crisis. That's my only condition. I'm sure Michelangelo and I can spend the evening at April's place."

"Thank you, Sensei."

"Leonardo, you can't cook."

"I know, but I'm going to try. "

XXX

Leonardo returned to Raphael, who was staring up at the ceiling, a bored expression on his face. "Hey, hon," Leo said, trying not to recoil, as he leaned down and pecked Raphael's cheek.

"Hon?" Raphael said and smirked, his eyes lighting up when he saw Leo. "Gonna take a while ta adjust that."

"Snugglebunny," Leo teased, lacing his fingers between Raph's and forcing himself to be cheery and sappy, when all he wanted to do was really run, but he'd vowed to do this for Raphael and he would. Maybe he really would fall in love with him before six weeks was up and if not, well, he'd be in Japan with his Lotus and Raph, feeling more confident and loved, would meet someone else and would forgive him someday.

"I love yer eyes, Leo. They're like shinin' jewels that could light up the darkest room. And yer smile. It warms my heart and I feel butterflies whenever yer 'round. I feel safe with ya and loved, like I've never been before. Yer my wish come true, ya know that?"

"Been reading too much poetry, huh?" Leo said and flushed, stunned that his brother was so open with his feelings. He never was, keeping them bottled up, until he exploded.

"Kinda. I've been mentally composin' somethin' for ya, while I lie here. When I get my notebooks, I'll jot it down. I write poetry and stories, which help me relax and vent, but I ain't been inspired in weeks, so I ain't written much. That's changed now I have ya. Yer my muse, Leo."

"Me?" Leo said in surprise.

"Yeah. Not just yer physical attributes, but yer personality too. Everythin' 'bout ya Leo screams passion, honor, valor, dedication and love. I could go on 'bout ya forever and never tire. Did you know when yer 'round, my heart can't slow down and I have ta catch my breath? I know that's sappy, but it's true. Yeah. I stole those lines from a song, but it sums up how I feel 'bout ya. The lines are from a song called 'Catch my breath' by Westlife. Okay. They're a bit cheesy and sappy, but I kinda love their songs. Don't tell the others, because they'd mock me."

"Never, Raph. I feel the same way about you. You're really sweet."

"Only with ya," Raphael said and blushed. "I feel like I can show that side of me and ya won't laugh. I like bein' soft with ya and lettin' ya see that there are more layers ta me. That I ain't just a temperamental brute, who likes ta punch things. That I am capable of lovin', feelin' and of bein' a good mate."

"I always knew you had a softer side, Raph, but you never showed it often."

"True, because I was scared of bein' mocked, but ya don't make me feel that way, Leo. I'm comfortable with ya and I trust ya. I know ya will never do anythin' ta hurt me and I feel that we could work out. Have our own happy love story, like in the novels and movies. I'm writin' one and it's gonna feature characters based on us."

Leo's heart sank. Raphael thought he was the pinnacle of valor and integrity. Well, he wasn't. He was a liar and a scumbag, but that could change in six weeks, right? He could love Raphael for real and be proud that he was his lover and mate. Raphael had wonderful attributes. He was intelligent, caring, loyal, brave, dedicated, passionate, but he wasn't Lotus. He didn't have her raven hair, her almond shaped eyes, smell like her or have her curves. He hadn't ever bedded Lotus, but he'd seen her naked, had touched her boobs, traced his hands along the curves and admired them.

Lotus. He had to stop thinking of her. Raphael was now his life. He'd grow to love everything about him.

"Ya look distant?" Raphael said, interrupting his thoughts. "Ya okay, Leo? Did I say somethin' wrong? I know I sound like a lovesick puppy and that's probably turnin' ya off."

"No, baby," Leo said quickly, gazing into his emerald eyes. "You did nothing wrong. Nothing. I'm touched that you think so highly of me and that you're so open with me. I've never had anyone write anything to me before and I'm looking forward to seeing it."

"That's what couples do. They're open and honest and share everythin'," Raphael said huskily, sending a shiver down Leo's spine.

Sex? Of course, that's what Raphael meant. It was inevitable they'd fuck when Raphael had recovered, but how was he going to pretend he liked if he didn't? Women did and they sometimes got away with it. Could he do the same or would Raphael suspect it and call him out on it?

"What the heck are ya thinkin' bout?" Raphael asked. "Yer far away. If I didn't know better, I'd say ya wish ya were at least ten thousand miles from here."

"All right. You got me. I was thinking about sex."

"Ya worried 'bout it?"

"Truthfully, yes."

"Why? Ya fucked Mikey. Ya know how gay sex works."

"I don't remember much about it, apart from him telling me the next morning that his ass and tail hurt. We were intoxicated. I don't remember kissing or touching or who made the first move. And I remember that my room smelled of heavy musk and sex. That's all. I was top obviously. Mikey and I both regretted it."

"Won't be like that with us, Leo. Yer gonna remember every detail, but ya don't gotta worry. I won't be rough. I'll be sweet and tender, unless ya want me ta be otherwise. It'll hurt at first. I remember when Donnie fucked me and when tincan did, but the pain passes after a while and all ya feel is bliss. The most intense pleasure and it's sweeter when it's with someone ya love. I love ya, Leo," Raphael said and nuzzled his beak against Leo's. "So it's gonna be okay when we get ta that point, but that's a ways off, because all I really want right now is ta know ya as my lover and ta spend more time with ya."

"Okay."

"I will make ya feel good, Leo. Not just sexually, but emotionally too and in all the ways that matter, so ya don't gotta worry 'bout me hurtin' ya or messin' with feelings. That ain't me. What ya see is what ya get and if I promise somethin', I mean it and I'll honor my vow until I die, okay? I will never stop honorin' and lovin' ya, so relax, Leo, and bask in our love. I am, because I trust ya completely and I always will."

"All right," Leo said, even as he mentally called himself an asshole. Raphael was so gentle, understanding and sweet and he didn't deserve to be on such a high pedestal that Raphael had placed him on. He deserved to be hit and yelled at for…

Raphael lifted Leo's face to his, nuzzled his beak against Leo's and kissed him passionately. Leo let himself go; forcing himself to return the kiss, but his heart still ached for Lotus. Raphael really didn't turn him on and he had a sinking feeling that he never would be able to be love Raphael, like he deserved.

 **A/N Thanks to all reading and reviewing.**

 **Leo really is in deep now. And Raph's so adorable. How could anyone not fall in love with him? Next up: Mikey causes some trouble and says something harsh to Raphael.**


	7. Jealous Mikey

Leo's phone dinged, as he lay beside Raphael. He'd pushed two stretchers together. "Who's that?" Raphael asked.

"No one," Leo said, grabbing the phone off of the dresser. He read the message and placed the phone back on the dresser.

"Hey, Leo. If we're gonna be mates, we've gotta be honest with each other and keep no secrets from each other. Ya can't have a relationship with secrets and no trust, so who the hell messaged ya?"

"Karai," Leo said, picking up the phone and handing it to Raphael, who read the message. "There. See. She just asked to meet me."

"Why? And why wouldn't ya wanna tell me?" Raphael narrowed his eyes and said jealously, "Ya wanna fuck her, don't ya?"

"No. I really don't know why she wants to meet up. "

"But why wouldn't ya wanna tell yer mate 'bout it?" Raphael demanded, not letting the subject go. "What are ya hidin'?"

Leo dragged a hand down his face. His brother was like a dog with a bone sometimes and he was being too possessive. She'd only asked to meet. They were friends. What was the big deal?

"You have nothing to be jealous about, Raph. I'm yours, like I said."

"Yer not goin', ya hear me?" Raphael said firmly.

"Excuse me. You're not my boss, Raph. I can have friends," Leo said coldly.

"She ain't no friend and is a bitch. She's betrayed us before, Leo! She's bad, bad news. How could ya believe her shit? Yer so gullible, Fearless. Ya know what I think? Ya were gonna go behind my back and have a quickie!"

"I wasn't. Damn it, Raph. I have zero interest in Karai. I'm yours. Maybe she has intel we need or something. I'll just be gone…"

Raphael's green eyes flashed and he threw the phone against the wall. The screen smashed and the phone broke and Raphael said nonchalantly, "Guess ya need a new phone now. Oops. My bad."

"How could you, Raph?" Leo said crossly. "I gave you my word. There was no reason to do that."

"Yer not bein' honest with me. Did ya and Karai fuck? Why didn't ya wanna tell me that ya were gonna meet her?"

"No, we never did and I didn't tell you, because you'd fly into a rage, like you're doing now. You're acting crazy, Raph. I've never wanted Karai. She holds zero appeal for me. You're right. She did betray us, but she changed and we're friends. And she's interested in someone else, who happens to be a woman. A lovely girl named Shinigami. She was Karai's best friend in Japan and they're so happy together."

"Why the fuck didn't ya tell me that when I first asked?"

"You didn't give me a chance and now my phone's busted. It'll take Donnie a long time to fix. Thanks a heap, Raph!"

Raphael smiled sheepishly and said, "I'm sorry, Leo. Ya know me. I sometimes don't think before I act."

"Yeah. Look, Raph. I'd never cheat. I promised. You're mine and I'm yours for life, so you don't have to worry," Leo said, taking Raphael's hands in his. He kissed Raphael's knuckles and added, "I'll always be faithful, so there's no need to act like a possessive buffoon, my love."

"I'll try not ta be, but I still don't trust her and only want ya ta meet her with me present."

Leo sighed and said, "Fine. If that's what it'll take to make you happy."

"And I want no secrets between us. I'll be just as open, Leo."

"Fine."

"Donnie was secretive and it hurt when I found out he fucked April, ya know. I guess I kinda have trust issues. I love ya, but I do. I need ta know yer always gonna be honest with me, like I will be with ya."

"I'm not Donnie and I will be. You can read all my mail and texts if you need to. You don't need to be insecure, treasure. I'm yours only, okay?" Leo said and kissed Raphael on the lips.

Raphael broke the kiss and said, "What if ya tire of me?"

"Why would I? You're smart, affectionate, loyal, dedicated, passionate and sexy as hell? You're a little demanding at times and impulsive and you have a vicious temper, but your good qualities outweigh the bad and I know our life will never be dull. I love you, Raph, and I'll never ever leave you."

"Hotter than Lotus?"

No, Leo thought. You're not. She's a goddess and you're just my brother, whom I'm not attracted to. "Lotus was the past, Raph, but yes. You're much hotter than she is and cuter and sweeter and you smell better and you're everything I could want in a mate. I could never want anyone else. You tick all of the boxes, so stop stressing, my angel. There's only you."

Raphael nodded and said, "I'm sorry. I'm such a spaz for feelin' jealous when ya've sworn ta be faithful. I'll work on that, Leo."

"No need to apologize, my love. Let's just focus on the present and future. Our future as a bonded couple. We'll have a traditional Japanese ceremony someday and Sensei will officiate. I'll build extra rooms to accommodate all of our young and equip them with everything we need, okay?"

"How many young are we talkin'?"

"I don't know. How about six? Three boys and three girls."

"That's a fuckin' lotta eggs for me ta lay. Donnie said it would be sore and I don't know…"

"We'll see how it goes, my love, okay? It's just hypothetical. If you decide you don't want kids, I'll be fine with it too. All I want is your happiness."

"I want kids with ya, Leo. We'll see how it goes. Start with one or two."

"Whatever you want, my love," Leo said and kissed his hand, trying not to recoil. He was still pissed about his phone, but had swallowed down his anger. And Raphael would be watching him like a hawk, he thought furiously. He'd probably get no time alone and even if he wanted to call Lotus, he wouldn't be able, Raphael reading all of his texts and mail. Still, it was his own fault too. He hadn't stood up to his insanely possessive mate and it was his own fault for being in this mess. And he was mad at Donnie for treating Raphael so abysmally that he was this possessive.

Raphael sat up and said, "I'm sick of the infirmary."

"Donnie said…"

"Fuck what Donnie said. I'm sick of this fuckin' place. I wanna move in with ya now."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Donnie said…"

"FUCK DONNIE! Ya think ya'd be happy yer mate would be with ya…"

"You are with me."

"No! In our room. Not the infirmary. I wanna move there now. If yer worried 'bout me walkin', ya can carry me. I ain't gonna spend another night here."

Leo groaned inwardly. His room was his private haven and now he'd be sharing it with his temperamental brother for the rest of his life. Not what he'd envisaged. He'd hoped to be able to sneak back to his room when Raphael had fallen asleep and to masturbate to a photo of Lotus on his phone, which was now fucking broken. But no. Now he'd have his demanding brother next to him and he'd get no peace. And Raphael would probably go through his things too and discard what he thought Leo didn't need, including photos of Lotus. No. He'd go there first and ensure he saved them and he'd hide them somewhere Raphael would never find them. He might be with Raphael, but his heart still belonged to Lotus and he still wanted to beat off to her. Why couldn't he?

"Ya ain't said anythin'. Ya don't want me ta?"

No shit, Sherlock, Leo wanted to say. Instead he smiled and said, "Course. You don't think it's too soon?"

"We ain't gonna shag, Leo. I just need ta feel ya next ta me in a proper bed."

Trust his brother to be so crass, Leo thought sarcastically. "I'm just going to sweep it and check it's ready for you, babe," Leo said and kissed Raphael's cheek.

"If ya have anythin' of Lotus, I want it gone."

"Naturally. I've done that already, my love. I'll be back shortly, okay?"

"Don't be long. I miss ya when yer not here," Raphael said and stared at Leo adoringly.

Feeling sick to his stomach, Leo managed a fake small smile and said, "Not as much as I miss you." Then Leo headed to his bedroom.

XXX

Rummaging through his dresser, Leo found photos of Lotus, including sexually explicit ones she'd sent, and placed them into a box that he hid in a secret panel behind the painting of a Japanese warrior he admired that was above his bed. When Raphael was busy, he'd take one out, wank to it then return them to the secret compartment. Raphael would never know.

XXX

A knock sounded on the infirmary door and Raphael said, "Come in."

"Hey, dude," Mikey said. "How are you feeling, Raph?"

"Better, bro, thanks. How are ya?"

"Good. So, Donnie said that you and Leo are a thing now. Is it serious?"

"Yeah. We got Sensei's blessin'," Raphael said happily, his green eyes shining.

"So it's not casual and meaningless?" Mikey said disappointedly.

"Why are ya upset 'bout it, Mikey? I'd have thought ya'd be happy for yer bros that they found love. It's not like ya loved Leo."

"Leo doesn't love you, Raph. He loves Lotus and his heart will always belong to her and hers to him."

"Yer wrong. Leo loves me. He said so and Leo wouldn't lie."

"Leo's noble and would do anything to make his brothers happy, even lying. I bet he blames himself for what happened to you and that's the only reason he's with you. He doesn't love you more than a brother and he never will! He feels sorry for you. Why else would he suddenly be with you when he's been with Lotus for over a year? Hidden feelings for you? No way. He couldn't love someone like you, a male. You're delusional if he does and even if he did love you, you're not his type. You have zero in common with him. He deserves someone like me. I love him and I always have. I'd make him happy. You couldn't. You're a temperamental, vicious beast."

Raphael's face paled and he said, "Leo would never do that ta me. Yer sayin' that, because yer jealous and just wanna hurt me."

"I'm jealous all right, but the fact still remains. Leo's not gay and he doesn't want you. He pities you. Everything he says is a lie and it's designed to make you feel better. That's all. Not the love you desire and want. You ask him. He'll deny it, but ask yourself why he's suddenly so interested in you romantically. Leo's probably dying inside every time he has to kiss and touch you. You repulse him. He's probably thinking of Lotus. He'll never really love you, Raphael, and when he wanks, it won't be your face he imagines."

Raphael ducked his head, as tears filled his eyes. Is Mikey right? Has Leo been lyin' ta me all along? Or is Mikey just bitter?

"You disgust him, Raphael," Mikey continued. "Look at his eyes. Leo's face is impassive, but sometimes his eyes reveal his emotions. I might never have Leo, but you most definitely won't either. Think about what I said."

Mikey left and Raphael lay back against his pillow and sobbed bitterly. Is it a lie, he thought? Is Mikey tellin' the truth?

Leo entered the infirmary and said, "What's wrong, Raph?"

Raphael sat up, rubbed his tears away with the back of his hand and said, "is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That ya've always loved and wanted me. Mikey said ya don't and were only sayin' that, because ya blame yerself for what happened on the roof and want ta make me feel better. I want the truth, Leo, even if hurts me. I want the truth now, so don't BS me or spare my feelings. Just the truth, ya hear?"

 **A/N Thanks to all reading, following and reviewing.**

 **Will Leo tell the truth?**

 **I'm so excited. I asked someone to get me Rob Paulsen's autograph last year and she did. Autographed photo of 87 Raph, who I've always adored and who's always been my favorite. I wrote to Rob sending two photos of 87 Raph to autograph, never thinking he'd reply. That was last March. I received the letter on Tuesday and he sent me three autographed photos. My two and one another. Now I have four autographed ones and I'm still blown away. I'm going to frame them. :)**


	8. The emerald Claddagh

Leo sucked in a deep breath, took Raphael's hands and said, as he gazed into his emerald eyes, "Raph, I do feel guilty about the events on the rooftop, but that's not why I'm with you. I would never be with someone just to make them feel better. That's not my style. I'm with someone, because I cherish, respect and adore them. And that's how I feel about you. I always have. It just took that kiss on the rooftop to make me accept my feelings. I've denied them for years. I've been in love with you, since I was thirteen, but I was afraid to say anything. Partly, because I feared Dad's wrath and also because I thought you didn't feel the same way."

"So…."

"Let me finish. Our kiss was electric and sent tingles down my spine and it made me realize I'd never really loved Lotus, because our kisses weren't that hot and hers were more sisterly. I got scared and ran off, but when I arrived home, I realized I was being an idiot and I had to come to terms with my feelings for you and had to be honest. I vowed to tell you and I'm so glad I did, because I've wasted so much time with someone I didn't really love, when you were always there. You're the most magnificent person I've ever known, Raph. You're courageous, brave, loving, adorable, passionate and feisty. You're the complete package and you complete me. I've grown up repressing my feelings, but you give me the confidence to express them. You make me a better man. You always have. I was a fool not seeing that earlier. You turn me on. My shell's always tight when I'm around you and…"Leo blushed and added, "I can't wait until we're physically bonded as well and I can shower you with all the adoration you deserve. I want to make love to you and make you feel good and for you to forget what that bastard did to you on the roof top. I want your babies and I want to spend my life by your side, because I'm nothing without you. Raphael, you're my heart. Why would I lie about any of this? You know I never do anything lightly and you know I adhere by the Correct Heart. I would never deceive you, especially not about loving you, my takara."

"So Mikey was lyin'?" Raphael asked, his face softening.

"Yes. He clearly has jealousy issues and is causing trouble. I'll talk to him. I'm yours and it's not out of pity and guilt. I adore you. I always will," Leo said, mentally vowing to throttle Mikey for stirring up shit.

Raphael smiled, visibly reassured, touched his temple to Leo's and said, "I adore ya too. I believe ya, Leo. Ya do have a strict honor code and ya'd never lie ta me. Yer conscience wouldn't allow ya ta. Is Mikey gonna cause more shit?"

"Nope. I said I'll talk to him and I'll get him to apologize to you too. Mikey's bitter, but he'll have to get used to us being mates, because I'm not giving you up. Not ever."

"Ditto," Raphael said and raised his head. "Does that mean I can move into yer room today?"

"Of course you can," Leo said and lifted his head. "Our room. I'll move you now if you want."

"Yeah. I want. Hey, Leo?"

"Yes, my darling?"

"It ain't yer fault. Never blame yerself. I shouldn't have gone out that night and I shoulda gone home with ya, but I was an obstinate shit. Ya were only bein' my big brother and I was bein' an asshole. It's my fault. I deserved it."

"No, Raph. You didn't deserve it. No one deserves to be violated in that way. Those bastards are to blame and we'll get our revenge. I promise you. Shredder will feel the full weight of our wrath. Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing to warrant such abuse."

"I look forward ta that day. Knowin' he's offa the streets and can't hurt no one else will give me some peace of mind. I wanna ram my sai up his fuckin' ass and him ta feel what he did ta me! I want him ta fuckin' feel powerless and weak and know ain't no one gonna come ta his defence. I fuckin' hate him." Raphael balled his hands in to fists and said furiously, his green eyes flashing, "I want him so fucked up, he'll beg for death. I want him ta hurt in every office and my face ta be the last one he sees before he expires. I'm gonna fuck him up so badly, Leo."

"I'll help you, angel. You know that. Sh. Let's go to my room. Do you think you can walk?"

"Leo, I know ya don't agree with murder. I can do it on my own or with Casey and…"

"Raph, you're not alone. I'll help you. You're my mate and I want him to pay for all he did to you. I want him to suffer and to pay the ultimate price. He deserves no mercy and he'll get none."

"Thank ya, Leo. I appreciate it. Is it normal ta feel a mixture of emotions? I alternate between depression, sadness and rage."

"Yes, Raph. It's part of the healing process. It was extremely traumatic and you're doing fine, my love. It's early days, but I believe you'll make a full recovery. Mentally, physically and emotionally. And I'll be here every step of the way. I'll be your strength when you feel weak. I'll be your crutch. Just like you've always been mine."

Raphael's eyes misted over and he said, "How did I get so blessed ta have ya?"

"Au contraire. I'm the lucky one," Leo said and kissed his knuckles.

Raphael blushed and said, "Leo, what if I freeze up?"

"What do you mean?"

"When ya touch me and try ta make love ta me."

"Oh. Then we'll wait until you're ready. Relax, Raph. We have the rest of our lives and besides, our love isn't purely about sex. You don't need sex to be happy, do you?"

"But it's part of a lovin' relationship."

"Yes. But I'm not going to leave you if we don't have sex, my love. I'll wait until you're ready and I still won't leave you if that doesn't happen. I promise. So stop fretting."

"Thank ya. I appreciate yer patience. I'm ready ta go ta yer room. I think I can walk. Don't pick me up. I ain't no baby."

"As stubborn as ever."

"It ain't 'bout that," Raphael said, removing the covers and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I've been through hell and back, Leo, and I wanna assert myself. I wanna prove ta myself I can still do things on my own. Walkin' on my own is the first step. I'm so grateful ya love me and wanna help, but ya don't gotta do everythin', Leo. There are some things I need ta do on my own."

"I understand, little…."

"Leo, we're mates now. Little brother isn't appropriate. It's Raph, Raphael or whatever endearment ya wanna call me, okay? Can ya imagine if we make love and ya say 'little bro, I'm gonna cum'? That'll kill my erection fast!"

Leo chuckled and said, "I understand, Raphie. Sorry. Habit."

Raphael gingerly stood up and quickly sat down, still feeling weak. "Shit!" he said in dismay.

"What, baby?"

"Nothin'," Raphael said, determined to walk. "I'm just takin' a breather." He rose again and took a tentative step, testing his legs. Seeing he wasn't going to keel over, he said, "What are ya waitin' for, Fearless? Let's go."

"Do you want to hold my hand?"

"Nope. I got this. Just walk beside me. It ain't far ta yer room."

"You're so brave, Raph."

"I gotta be, Leo. Shredder will win if I crumble and I ain't gonna let that happen."

Raphael slowly walked towards Leo's room, the leader close behind him.

XXXX

They arrived in Leo's room and Raphael climbed into bed and pulled the covers over him. "Better," Raphael said, looking around. "I love this. Can we paint the walls? They look so plain. Can I bring my stuff in here, Leo?"

"Of course. This is your room too. I want you to feel happy and comfortable, so make any changes you like."

"Cool. Are ya gonna snuggle with me? I hate when I'm alone."

Leo sighed internally. He was emotionally drained and wanted time to himself. Well, after he'd clobbered Mikey. And now Raphael wanted to cuddle. Am I ever going to get me time, Leo wondered?

"I was going to meditate and I have things to plan for your birthday, Raphie."

"Ya don't gotta get me nothin'. I already said yer more than enough."

"Don't be absurd. You're my precious lover and I want to spoil you." Impulsively, Leo went to his dresser and pulled out a small box. He handed it to Raphael and said, "Open it."

Raphael did and his jaw dropped. The most exquisite emerald necklace he'd ever seen was inside. "It's beautiful, Leo. Thank ya. I love it," Raphael said, his eyes shining in happiness.

Leo placed it around his neck and said, "Perfect fit. It's a promise necklace, Raphie. A promise that I'll always love and honor you. And I'll be faithful. This is a Claddagh necklace and is pure gold. It caught my eye and I had to have it. I had some money and it looks stunning on you."

"It's gorgeous," Raphael enthused and kissed him on the lips. "Thank ya. I'm never gonna take it off! Thank ya, baby. What's the origin of the Claddagh?"

"You're welcome, my sweetheart. The Claddagh's the most popular piece of traditional Irish jewelry and its origins lie in the Galway fishing village in seventh century Ireland. It became popular for the beauty and meaning of the design. The hands represent friendship, the heart love and the crown loyalty."

"So romantic," Raphael said and beamed. "I'm blown away. Thank ya. I'm gonna treasure it always."

"My pleasure. We can use Claddagh rings when we have our ceremony if you like. It'll be different. They have the most incredible designs. We can have April's help to have them custom made for our large fingers."

"Cool. I love that idea. I'm so happy, I could burst. Thank ya. How did ya get the money? I don't wanna be nosy, but this musta cost a tidy sum."

"I helped April with her college work. I typed up her projects and did some of them, giving her more free time."

"Baloney. There ain't no way ya could afford this expensive piece with money for writin' papers. What did ya do, Leo?"

"It's the truth, Raph. I swear. She paid me and she inherited a large amount from an aunt of hers. She gave me a hundred grand. She has cash for you, Don and Mikey too, but it's going to be handed out at Christmas. I wasn't supposed to say, so act like you don't know. I saw this necklace and she saw how much I admired it and gave me my money now. I don't regret splurging. It looks fantastic on you and brings out your gorgeous eyes."

"I hope ya ain't lyin' ta me, Leo, because I couldn't keep this if ya attained it dishonorably."

"I know, but I'm not lying. You can ask April if you don't believe me. I have to go. Things to plan. Get some rest, my treasure. I'll see you soon. I'm so happy you like your first present."

"First?"

"Yes. I told you that I'm going to spoil you," Leo said and winked. He bent down, kissed Raphael on the lips and added, "Keep the bed warm, my handsome angel. I love you."

"Love ya too, baby. Thank ya for everythin'."

Leo left, closing the door behind him and thought, that necklace was meant for Lotus, but he doesn't have to know that. Anyway, she's gone, so he may as well have it. It does suit him. Now to plan Raph's dinner and beat the crap out of Mikey.

Leo headed to Mikey's room and said in his most authoritative tone, "Michelangelo, open the damn door. I want to talk."

 **A/N Mikey's in for it now. What will Leo do? And has Lotus given up on Leo?**

 **The Claddagh is stunning. I have an emerald gold plated one I bought in Limerick, Ireland. :)**


	9. Closer

Not getting a response, Leo went into Mikey's bedroom, but there was no sign of him. Damn, he thought. I'll have to deal with him later. I need to start preparing Raph's meal, but how can I make the evening special? An idea hit him and his eyes gleamed. Raphael wasn't the sappy type, but Leo had a feeling he'd love it.

XXX

Leo went into his bedroom and took out two ceramic mugs he'd recently bought. He loved painting mugs and creating his own designs and he had a feeling Raphael would love his personalized ones. He got out his pencil and first sketched a design of a large red heart with his and Raphael's names in the centre, the word forever below it and ashisteru above the heart. Then he wrote the words 'You're my favorite pain in the shell' on the other side and went over both designs with his sharpie paints and added accent colors. Leo smiled at his handiwork. Raphael would be blown away. Then he did the same thing on the other mug, painting Raphael and himself on the front holding hands and wrote the words 'Raphael, takara, I adore you, Leo.' on the back. Done, Leo picked up the mugs and headed into the kitchen.

XXXX

Leo turned on the oven and placed the mugs inside it when it was 350 degrees, knowing it would be ready in twenty minutes, which gave him time to prep the meal. Leo was a bad cook and that was an understatement, because he'd almost burned the kitchen down on several occasions and had destroyed a few toasters. He knew he was playing with fire again, but he had to risk it. Raphael deserved a special meal. He'd try his best and they could always order pizza if it didn't work out. He flipped open one of Mikey's recipe books and decided he'd make crab cakes with a side salad, followed by garlic shrimp pasta and a chocolate molten lava cake. It looked easy enough. Surely even a lousy cook like him could pull it off?

Leo got to work making the crab cakes and set them aside when he was finished. Then he mixed the batter for the cake, which he'd bake when they were seated at the table. Finished, he marinated the shrimp with a mixture of garlic, ginger, paprika, and basil and set it aside. Then he made a simple salad of tomato, cucumber, lettuce and olives. That done, he opened the oven, took out the mugs and placed them on a baking sheet to cool down.

Now it was time for the décor. Leo got out a red table cloth from the linen closet, spread it out onto the kitchen table and set out the cutlery and crockery. He didn't have flowers, so two red candles from the kitchen would have to do. He placed those onto the table, lit them and looked in the fridge for something to drink. Alcohol was forbidden, so he'd make do with grape juice. He put it in an ice bucket by the table and turned his attention to the lighting.

He fetched his scented candles, lighting them and placing them around the room. It was simple, but romantic and elegant. All that was needed was music. He set up his portable CD player, pressed play and romantic Japanese instrumental music softly played. It was melodious and beautiful and the perfect accompaniment to their meal. He had something extra planned for his brother. The idea of it sickened him to the core, but he'd do it, knowing it'd prove his devotion to Raphael and would make him feel even more loved.

XXX

Leo donned a blue towel, headed to his bedroom after his shower and smiled at his brother, who was sitting up and idly paging through one of Leo's war books, a bored expression on his face. "Hey, handsome," Leo said and bent down and kissed Raphael's cheek. "How's my sexy warrior doing?"

"Bored shitless. Where've ya been? Ya've been gone ages!"

"I missed you too," Leo said and chuckled. "Hey," Leo added huskily, trailing a hand down Raphael's plastron and making him shiver. "Think you could handle some loving? I'm in the mood and I want to make you feel good."

Not waiting for a reply, Leo pushed his brother down onto the bed, pulled the covers back, got between his legs and lapped at a stunned Raphael's slit until he dropped down with a loud churr, his purple cock semi erect and oozing precum. "Gorgeous," Leo said, raising his head, locking eyes with Raphael and trying not to throw up. "I bet you're a huge boy when erect, huh, Raphie?"

Raphael blushed and said, "Ten inches. I measured. Leo, ya don't gotta do this…"

"I want to, my angel," Leo said and focussed his attention again on Raphael's cock, alternately sucking and licking it. He watched Raphael, whose eyes were closed and whose hands were fisting the bedsheets, euphoria on his handsome face.

This is disgusting, Leo thought, inwardly recoiling at his brother's intense and salty taste. I fucking hate this. I miss Lotus. I doubt I'll ever enjoy blowing him. How could I when I had someone as beautiful as Lotus, who was my soul mate? Raphael's sexy for a male, but he doesn't have the right parts and I…I want to barf so badly. Even his skin's rougher than Lotus's. She was soft in all the right places and his is leathery. Not to mention his numerous scars. They certainly aren't sexy. Then there's his masculine musk that's tinged with sweat and gasoline. Yuck. Lotus smelled like peaches and fresh flowers and she bathed more often than Raph does. Phew. He pongs something fierce.

Leo shoved his thoughts aside, gradually took Raphael in and greedily sucked his cock, while listening to the deep rumbles and churrs of pleasure his brother made and feeling revolted with himself that he'd pulled those noises out of Raphael. Damn it. They were brothers. Not biological, but they'd been raised as brothers and it was wrong and immoral to be doing this with him!

"I'm gonna cum, Leo. Fuck!" Raphael yelled and he came a few minutes later with a loud growl, shooting hot jets of his seed down a nauseated Leo's throat.

A flushed Raphael pulled out and said breathlessly, "Thank ya. That was fantastic and kind of ya."

Leo cleaned his brother, taking care not to miss a drop, and planted a kiss on his beak when he was done. Then he said, "I wasn't trying to be kind, Raphie. I did it, because I love you. I want you to feel loved every second of every day in all the ways that matter."

Raphael's green eyes misted over, he nuzzled Leo's beak with his own and said, "Ya do. I'm so thankful for ya. Thank ya, baby."

"You don't have to keep thanking me. It's what mates do. They love one another. Are….."

"What 'bout ya? Don't ya want me ta suck ya off?"

"Raphie, I didn't do it, because I wanted something in return. I did it, because I wanted to make you feel good and this is your night and all about you. You can spoil me another time if you want."

"Ya know I will, Leo. Ya deserve the moon. I just hope I'm good enough for ya. What if I suck in bed?"

"Hush, baby," Leo said, tracing his jawline with his hand. "You're perfect for me. We complement one another and like I said before, sex isn't all we have. We have a strong bond based on love and respect that transcends everything else, so stop stressing. How do you feel now?"

"Contented, warm and loved, but…I'm afraid I'm gonna disappoint ya."

"Nothing you could say or could do would disappoint me, sweet Raphie. Please stop worrying, okay?"

"I'll try," Raphael said and wrapped his arms around Leo. "Think I could sleep now."

"After."

"After what?"

"Your next surprise."

"Another one? Come on, Leo. Ya've done so much already. Bein' my mate, the Claddagh and a blowjob. That's enough."

"It's not."

"What the shell have ya done now, Leo?"

"Get up and come to the kitchen. Dinner awaits."

"Shit! Ya cooked!" Raphael said in horror, his green eyes wide. "I hope ya didn't set the kitchen on fire!"

"Come and see," Leo said, while playfully stroking Raphael's tail, sending a shiver down his spine and making him rumble in appreciation. He'd always been the most sensitive with his tail and it was heaven having all of the attention. "Your tail's so cute, just like you, baby."

Raphael couldn't remember ever feeling so loved and satiated before. Leo was a dream come true and he made him feel relaxed to show his soft side.

"That's heaven," Raphael purred. "Bein' adored like this. I could get used ta it. I love bein' here with ya."

"So do I, but dinner's waiting," Leo said and sat up. "I hope you'll like it."

"I'd like anythin' ya made, because it's for me," Raphael said and sat up. "It's the thought that counts. But I don't get what the occasion is. My birthday's only tomorrow."

"I don't need a reason to spoil my mate," Leo said, standing up and helping Raphael to his feet.

"Are the others 'round?"

"Just Don. Sensei and Mikey went to April's place."

"Good, because then we can dine au natural. Ya know I feel vulnerable when I'm naked, but I wanna do it with ya and be my authentic, natural self. No gear and no clothes, the way we were born. I wanna feast my eyes on yer gorgeous toned body, the body only I can make love ta. Yer mine."

Leo groaned inwardly, as he removed his towel and threw it onto the bed. "How's that?"

"Perfection," Raphael said, his eyes hooding over with lust and love, as they roved over Leo's body. "Yer like a greek God and yer mine. Nobody else's."

Feeling awkward under the scrutiny, Leo cleared his throat and said, "Let's go, my handsome prince."

"Yer mine, right?" Raphael demanded.

"Of course I am," Leo said and grabbed Raphael's hand. "Now and always. Why would I want anyone else when I have the most perfect and sweetest guy ever?"

Raphael grinned and said, "I'm all that?"

"Of course you are," Leo said and kissed his cheek. "You're incredible and I'm so proud to have you as my mate. Let's go to dinner."

Raphael and Leo slowly walked to the kitchen and Leo thought, I still feel sick. Blowing him was the most repellent experience ever. I'd rather fight Shredder than that!

XXXX

They entered the kitchen and Raphael's eyes filled with tears, as he took in the scene before him. "Wow," he said. "Ya did all of this for me, Leo. The table, the music, the cookin'. Wow. Nobody's ever done somethin' like that for me and the décor's red, my favorite color. Ya really know how ta make me feel special, baby. Thank ya. It's stunnin'. I can't believe it." Raphael sniffed and said, "I'm speechless."

Leo smiled, led him to the table, pulled a chair out for him and said, as Raphael sat down, "It's no problem. I wanted to make things extra special and I thought since we didn't have Valentine's Day together this year….."

"We've only been together for a couple of days."

"Right. We could have a Valentine's Day themed dinner. I'm happy you like it."

"More than like it. I'm blown away."

"I hope you like the food," Leo said and poured him a glass of grape juice.

"I'm sure I will. Hope it ain't broccoli though."

"Of course not. Before I forget, here are your gifts," Leo said and handed him his mugs.

"Wow!" Raphael enthused. "These are awesome. Thank ya. Did ya make them?"

"Sure did. And I mean every word. Ashisteru, my sweetheart."

"And I'm a pain in the shell? I like the pun."

"Sometimes, but I love you anyway," Leo said. He grabbed the bowl of crab cakes, headed to the stove and turned it on.

"Love ya too. This is so romantic. Just us, music and peace. I love it. I really think we should move someday and get our own place. "

"Hmm," Leo said, placing the crab cakes in the pan. "Whatever you want, Raphie."

"Is that so?" Raphael asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes."

"Gonna take ya up on that offer when I'm better. I got many ideas we can try."

"I can't wait," Leo said, faking excitement. "These will be ready soon."

They chatted about casual things and the crab cakes were ready a few minutes later. "Here you go," Leo said and heaped some onto Raphael's plate, along with the salad. "Hope you like them."

"Thank ya," Raphael said and took a large bite. Then closing his eyes, he smiled and said, "These are the best crab cakes I've ever had. Thanks, Leo. I take back every nasty thing 'bout yer cookin'! These are sensational. I'm floored. Can I have the recipe?"

Leo chuckled and said, "You're welcome. It's in one of Mikey's books. I'll show you."

Raphael took another bite and touched Leo's calf with his leg under the table, making Leo flush. "Heh. Yer so cute when yer embarrassed," Raphael said with a grin.

"You're so bad."

"Ya got no idea," Raphael husked, placing his hand under the table and reaching between Leo's legs. He settled it on his tail and began stroking it, watching as Leo's cheeks flamed and listening to Leo's churrs.

The leader suddenly pushed his chair back, stood up and said, "Are you done, Raph?"

"Yeah. Why are ya so shy, Leo? It's just me or maybe ya don't like me touchin' ya. Maybe ya want Lotus back," Raphael said jealously.

"No, no, baby. It's just I organized a special meal for you and I want to make it. We can fool around later, okay? I do like you touching me, but dinner can't wait. I'll be right back. Just have to cook the pasta and shrimp."

"Look, Leo. I'm gonna be touchin' ya. We're mates, so ya gotta trust me, okay?"

"I do trust you!" Leo said, looking up from the pasta pot in which he was boiling the pasta.

"I don't think ya do. I let ya touch me and I've been through hell, so I don't understand why ya can't if ya love me so much."

"Fine. You can touch me all you like later. I promise."

"I look forward ta that."

The main course was a disaster. Leo had undercooked the pasta and overcooked the shrimp, but Raphael had sweetly informed him that didn't matter. He appreciated the effort Leo had gone to for him. Leo was nervous, as he placed the chocolate molten lava cake into a mold and into the oven, praying it was a success and he could soon go to bed. He was exhausted.

He and Raphael chatted, as the dessert cooked and when it was ready, Leo took it out of the mold and placed it onto Raphael's plate. "Dig in, Raphie," Leo said, dishing up for himself.

Raphael did and a look of sheer ecstasy appeared on his face, his eyes closing. "This is mindblowin'," he said, opening his eyes. "Holy moly. This the best thing ever, Leo! Wow. And ta think ya made it. Ya gotta make it again," Raphael added and licked his spoon.

Leo smiled and said, "Glad you approve."

"I more than approve. Hey. Ya got any leftover batter?" Raphael asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Yes. I thought I could make more pudding tomorrow."

"Nah. I want it tonight. Ya said it's my night and ya will do what I want, right?"

Fuck, Leo thought in dread. He wants sex. I have to stall. "Uh, Raph. You're still healing and aren't ready…."

Raphael ate more pudding, sighed contentedly and said with a wink, as he pushed his plate away, "But ya are. I'm done. That was scrumptious, thank ya and for the most amazin' dinner. I wanna play and make ya feel good. Ya will let me if ya trust me. Get the bowl and we'll continue our celebrations in bed."

"Raph…."

"Now! Don't baby me, okay? I wanna do this," Raphael said and stood up. "Get the bowl and come with me," Raphael added, wagging his tail to turn his brother on.

Leo groaned inwardly, plastered a smile and said, "In that case, I'm game."

Leo picked up the left over chocolate batter and followed his brother to his bedroom.

XXX

Raphael ordered his brother to lie down on the bed. Then he smeared the chocolate batter onto Leo's plastron and his tail and eagerly began to lick it up, listening to Leo's loud cries of pleasure, as he did so. Raphael's tongue was rough, but to Leo's immense disgust, he loved the feeling of it against his skin and the sensations it caused. Bliss, euphoria and an urge to drop down. Raphael's hands stroked and caressed his body and he was surprisingly gentle with his calloused hands. Leo would never have expected that from his temperamental brother. There were clearly more layers to Raphael than he'd thought.

Leo's shell felt tight and he dropped down, his forest green cock semi erect and leaking precum. Raphael noticed and said, "It's gorgeous and thick. I'm gonna have so much fun with it. Lie still, Leo. I'm gonna make ya feel incredible.

Raphael slowly took Leo in and watched, as Leo's eyes closed and his hands fisted the bedsheets, his lips slightly parted. He thought Leo looked exquisite splayed before him and was a work of art. His art to love and caress for all eternity and he would. He'd never let his mate go. They belonged together and were soulmates. He was so glad that Leo had realized that.

Raphael sucked him harder and took Leo in further, until he was halfway down his throat. And it wasn't long before Leo climaxed with a loud growl, sending his seed down Raphael's throat. The emerald skinned turtle greedily drank it down, loving his mate's salty and intense taste and pleased that he'd been the one to cause Leo such pleasure.

Leo pulled out with a plop and lay back, his hands clasped behind his head and panted. The empty bowl lay on the end of the bed.

Raphael cleaned him, savoring each drop, kissed him on the lips and said, "How was that?"

"That was wonderful, Raphie. Thank you," Leo said truthfully to his horror. He'd liked it and that curdled his blood. He wasn't supposed to. Come on. It was Raphael. Not Lotus. How could he have liked that rough tongue sucking him off?

"Yer welcome, baby," Raphael said and propped himself up on an elbow. "Just a fraction of the love I feel for ya."

"What about you? Is there more batter?"

"All gone, but it don't matter. There's always tomorrow. Well, forever," Raphael said and nuzzled his beak against Leo's. "We got all the time in the world. Thank ya for such a fantastic day," Raphael added and yawned.

"It's a pleasure and there's still your birthday. I have something wonderful planned."

"I can't wait," Raphael said excitedly, his green eyes shining. He kissed Leo again, lay down and wrapped his arms around Leo. "Good night, Leo. I love ya."

"Love you too, Raphie."

Raphael soon fell asleep, gently snoring, and Leo thought, fuck. That licking was the most erotic, sensual experience I've ever had before. I loved it and the blowjob. What the hell's wrong with me? I don't love Raphael or being around him or him touching me. I love Lotus, don't I? So why did I love it so much? Do I really love Raph and am in denial?

 **A/N A belated nod to Valentine's Day. :) Hope you guys all had a fabulous day.**

 **Leo's definitely digging a deeper hole for himself and is clearly in denial. Will he ever realize it?**


	10. Mikey's twisted vengeance

The evening was dark, bitterly cold and the gray sky threatened rain, but that didn't deter the two people, who stood on the roof top. They had important matters to discuss and nothing would deter them from that.

"You said you wanted to talk, Michelangelo," Lotus said.  
"Yes. I know you and Leo called it quits and it was rather sudden, wasn't it? Everything was going well and you were supposed to marry in the next few months."  
"That's right. Leonardo said that his feelings had changed, but I suspect he secretly cheated. I don't know why. I did everything I could to ensure he was happy. Was it with that Alopex?"  
"Something's changed all right. Leo's bedding Raphael."  
"What?" Lotus said in astonishment. "Leo's not gay."  
"Shows what you know, dudette," Mikey said sarcastically. "Leo and I fucked one another, while you guys were together," Mikey lied. "Guess he didn't tell you. Now he's screwing Raph. That's been going on for two weeks now. I wasn't going to say anything, because I didn't want to cause trouble, but you had to know the truth about Leo and who he really is. You deserve that, as much as it hurts, so you can move on and find someone better suited for you. Raph knew Leo was taken, but he didn't care. All that matters is what Raphael wants. That's the way it's always been and he'll stop at nothing to get it. Anyway, now you know the truth. Leo's gay. He has to be, because he fucked two guys. He played you and me, Lotus. I didn't know he was with you, when we were together. He told me the morning after. How could he do that and make me believe we had a future together, when he was with someone else? I was just a fucking toy and you…You meant nothing to him either. He couldn't even be with honest with you. That's how much he valued you. He's nothing but a gay wanker!"  
"How dare he make a fool of me!" Lotus raged, her brown eyes flashing. "I gave him, my heart, my soul, everything I had! He's a dishonorable bastard."  
"Yep. Wouldn't you like to get your revenge on him and Raphael? I love my brothers, but I think they deserve punishment and I know just how. It's the ultimate, but it'll teach them a lesson, so they know they know they can't mess with peoples' feelings and treat them like shit!"  
"What did you have in mind?"  
"Our greatest nemesis is the Shredder. I was thinking of drugging my brothers and handing them over to the Shredder. Look, I know we'll both never have Leo, but at least we'll have our vengeance, dudette. Isn't that good? It's not forever and is just until I think they've been punished enough. Then I'll tell my family where they are and we'll rescue them."  
"I don't know. I'm mad at him, but giving him to that vile monster's taking things a bit far. You know what? I'm going to walk away. He can have Raphael if he wants. I won't contest it. I deserve better than that and I'll find someone, who wants me, loves me and who knows the true meaning about honor."  
"So you're just going to let Leo and Raphael get away with it? I thought for sure you'd want them to pay. They made a fool out of you. Have you forgotten?"  
"I haven't, but Leo's made his bed and he can lie in it. I'm done. Michelangelo, I'm a strong believer in karma. The universe will ensure they get what they deserve, but vengeance is petty and it doesn't make a wrong right or make one feel better. I should know. I had a boyfriend before Leonardo and he cheated. I went ballistic and told everyone I met about it, but badmouthing him didn't really make me feel better. No. What did was finding Leonardo and having a new happy relationship. Anyway, I managed to move on from that first boyfriend and while it's going to be hard adapting to life without Leonardo, I know I can eventually move on and will find love again. You should leave them be and should look for a new lover when you're ready. I also don't really want anything bad to happen to Leonardo. I still love him. I suppose I always will and if I eventually find love and happiness, I hope Leonardo does too, even if it's with Raphael. Raphael also deserves love. I should go. It's late. Michelangelo, please listen to me. We've been wronged, but nothing good comes of vengeance and at the end of the day, Leonardo and Raphael are still your family. You need them and they need you. Let it go and forgive them when you're ready."  
"I suppose you're right, dudette. I was just so pissed. I'm going to try to let it go," Mikey lied. "I just wanted you to know the truth, so that you didn't spend your life wondering if you'd done anything wrong."  
"Thanks. Don't lose heart, Michelangelo. Love will happen when you least expect it, okay," Lotus said, turning her back, so that he didn't see the tears pricking her eyes. She was devastated and while she'd managed to conceal her emotions throughout their conversation, she couldn't now. "Don't ever give up on love."

Lotus walked away.

I fucking won't forgive them and if Lotus doesn't want to help me, I'll do it on my own, Mikey thought. He placed another call and thought, this'll really show them!

XXXX

Raphael was sound asleep, when his cell rang. He woke, grabbed it from the bedside table and said, "Hi?"  
"It's Lotus Blossom, Raphael. I was unable to reach Leonardo on his phone. Is he there?" She had all of the brother's phone numbers.  
"Um, he's sleepin'."  
"I'm well aware he's with you. Michelangelo told me. Don't be cross with him. He at least had the balls to tell me the truth why I was dumped out of the blue. I want to talk to Leonardo."  
"Don't yell at him. We didn't do nothin'….."  
"Raphael, I'm not calling to fight. Let me talk to your brother!"  
"Fine," Raphael said. He nudged Leo and said, "Wake up, Fearless. Lotus wants ta talk ta ya."

Leo stirred, took the phone and said, "Lotus?"  
"I know why you ditched me, Leonardo. Michelangelo told me about your fling with him and that you broke up with me, because you're with Raphael and have been for the last two weeks."  
"What? Lotus, I…."  
"Don't scold Michelangelo. I'm glad he told me, so that I know the truth. I'm hurt, but I…I don't wish you ill. I hope you're happy and I'm sorry I wasn't the one. You didn't have to lie and say your feelings had changed. You could have told the truth. All of it. It'd have been better than finding out from your brother."  
"It's not like that at all. I wasn't with Raph until I broke up with you. I…."  
"Stop with the lying, Leonardo. I just wanted to tell you that I'm greatly upset and it was a huge shock, but I don't hate you. I could never hate you and I loved the moments we shared. I'll treasure them forever and while I can't forgive the deception and the pain you've caused at the moment, I will someday. Good luck with Raphael. I'm sure I'll meet someone worthy of me when I least expect it. Goodbye, Leonardo."

Fucking Mikey, Leo thought angrily, as the line went dead. Bastard lied and told her I cheated with Raph, when I didn't and now she's gone forever. Fuck it. I'm going to wring Mikey's neck. Why would he do something like that? He agreed our union was a mistake. Unless he still harbors feelings for me and is jealous of Raph, which is frigging crazy, because I don't love Raph and adore Lotus! What a mess. Sensei was right. I have to be honest, tell Raph I don't love him and that I want Lotus. Then I can call her and tell her everything.

"Why did ya make excuses, Fearless?" Raphael asked, pulling Leo out of his thoughts. "Didn't ya say that it don't matter what she thinks? If she thinks we fucked when ya was an item, who cares?"  
"I did say that, but…"  
"But what?" Raphael demanded, his green eyes boring into Leo's.  
"Raph, I need to tell you something…."  
"What? That ya still want Lotus, despite what ya said? I could understand that. I ain't nothin' special and I ain't worthy of ya. I never will be. She was virtuous and untainted. Ya can tell me, Leo. It'll be hard, but I'll eventually deal," Raphael said sadly. "No one will ever me want me neither. I'm just a used piece a trash."

Raphael's words pierced Leo's heart and he was unable to utter the words he'd been about to speak.

"That wasn't what I was going to say. I told you that I'm yours and I meant it, Raph. I just felt bad her thinking I cheated when I didn't, but you're right. Her opinion doesn't matter anymore. Only yours does. It's just Mikey shouldn't have poked his beak, where it didn't belong."  
"Look, Lotus was like a sister and maybe Mikey thought he owed it ta her ta tell her the truth, even if it was distorted. That could be one scenario."  
"Perhaps," Leo said, but he wasn't unconvinced.  
"Mikey said those mean things ta me earlier. Maybe he said those things then, because he's in love with ya and he wanted ta cause trouble. It backfired, because Lotus didn't wanna listen. Is Mikey gonna be the thorn in our asses? Do ya think he'll seek vengeance on us?"  
"What for, Raph?"  
"I think he's jealous, because all he got with ya was one night of meaningless sex. I got love and forever with ya."  
"He tried to cause trouble. It didn't work and while he might be jealous now, he'll let it go when he's ready. He doesn't bear grudges. He's not like that. Not our sweet and loveable Mikey."  
"I guess yer right."  
"If he tries anything again, it won't work, because I'll never leave you, my love. Not for all the mint tea in Japan."  
Raphael smiled and said, "I love ya, Fearless. Now and forever. I'm so glad yer mine. I won the jackpot."  
"Love you too, Raph."

Leo kissed him and thought, fucking Mikey. I'm going to kill him and I'm going to see if I can meet Lotus. I have to explain what's going on. I can't have her thinking I'm a bastard and a cheater, when all I've ever been is tender, loving and honorable.

XXXX

Mikey waited on the rooftop, bouncing from one foot to the next, as he impatiently waited for the person he'd called to show up.

"Hi," Karai said a few minutes later. "We're here."

Mikey looked up and saw her and Shredder.

"You have something to tell me, Michelangelo," Shredder said. "I hope it's not a trap and that I won't be ambushed by your brothers."  
"Not at all. Something happened and I want my brother to pay for it. What better punishment than giving him to you?"  
"May I ask what transpired?"  
"It doesn't matter what. Do you want Raphael or not? I was going to say Leo as well, but upon reflection, I only want Raph gone. He's the problem. Not Leo."  
"What use would I have for a corpse? I'm not into necrophilia."  
"Raphael survived. He's a shadow of himself now, so I'm sure he'll blindly do what you want."  
"You don't feel ashamed that you're betraying your family?"  
"Nope. Raph deserves it. Do you want him? I intend on drugging my family with sleeping pills in their drinks tomorrow morning. I'll then carry Raph to a spot outside the lair, where I'll meet you. You can then take him and do with him what you wish."  
"Hmm. I like the idea, but how do I know you won't change your mind?"  
"I won't. Don't worry. Be at this place at ten tomorrow morning." Mikey told him where. "You'll have what you want and I'll have my revenge." Deal?"  
"Deal," Shredder said, shaking Mikey's hand. "It'll be so much fun to fuck Raphael again. I can't wait to hear his screams. Come on, Karai. We have to fix up the dungeon a little for our guest."

The villains left.

Mikey rubbed his hands and thought gleefully, as he ran home, I know what I did was twisted, but If I can't have Leo, then Raph can't either. Lotus was wrong about vengeance. I'm already feeling better knowing that Raph will be out of the picture for good.

 **A/N Will Mikey's plot work or will it be found out in time?**

 **I know Mikey's a little out of character, but love and jealousy sometimes make you do the most awful things. Even to people you supposedly love.**

 **Thanks for all the follows and reviews.**


	11. Raph's 15th birthday

The next morning, November 16, Leo got up gently at six, so that he wouldn't wake Raphael and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for him. He wasn't much of a cook, but he'd do his best, like he'd done the previous evening.

Leo made scrambled eggs, bread and coffee, avoiding the toaster, which he loathed and which he was banned from using, because it always seemed to blow up when he used it and he was convinced it was possessed. He set it all on a tray and returned to the bedroom, hoping his mate liked what he'd made.

XXXX

Raphael was asleep and an image of Shredder sneering, as he loomed over him and mercilessly brutalized him flashed in his mind. Blood trickled out of his abused hole and down his legs, as every part of him hurt. No. Not again. The first time had been traumatizing enough.

"I'm going to hurt you so bad," Shredder said. "But you'll love it and being my bitch, Raphael. That's your true place. You know that. You're just a weak, spineless creature, aren't you? There's a good pet. Lie there and let a real man show you who's boss. I'm your Alpha, you freak. Good boy. Such a good pet and slut."  
Don't hurt me," Raphael pleaded. "Please I beg of ya. I'll do whatever ya want. Please stop. I don't want this," he said, as tears rained down his cheeks. "Yer hurtin' me. Stop!"  
"Going to fuck you good, Raphael. Enjoy!" Shredder said and grinned sadistically.

Raphael screamed.

Leo heard the shrieks, ran into the bedroom, placed the tray on a dresser and strode to the bed.

"Raph!" Leo said, wrapping his arms around his trembling and sobbing mate. "Raph, it's me, Leo. Baby, wake up. You're okay. I'm here, Raphie. Open your eyes and look at me."  
Raphael opened his eyes and said, "Leo, is that really ya?"  
"Yes, yes, my love," Leo said, stroking his face with one and keeping the other wrapped around him. "It's me. I'm here and you're safe, okay? No one's going to touch you. I won't allow them. "  
"He was hurtin' me, Leo," Raphael choked out. "There was blood and…" Raphael hiccupped. "Every parta me hurt. It was like it was happenin' all over again. I was cryin' and beggin' for him ta stop and he just laughed and called me his pet and bitch."  
"It was a nightmare, sweetheart. You're safe in the lair. Look around, hon. You're in our room. Go on. Look around. I have you and I'm not going to let you go. You're no one's bitch or pet. You're Raphael, my heroic and tough mate, whom I adore so much. Don't listen to that bullshit. You're not worthless or a freak or whatever else he called you. You're magnificent and everything pure, Raphie."  
Raphael glanced around and said, "It's true. I'm at home, but it felt so real, Leo."  
"I know, sweetheart. Donnie said it's PTSD, which you'll probably have for a long time, but we'll get through it together. I swear. You're strong, Raph. We'll get through it and you'll be even stronger than before."  
Raphael hugged him tightly, more tears streaming down his cheeks, and said, "I ain't strong, Leo. That bastard broke me and he knows it. I'm only strong 'cause of ya and it's ya and yer love that's keepin' me goin'. If I didn't have that, I don't know what I'd do. Don't leave. I couldn't stand it. I need ya."  
Leo kissed his cheek and said, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours and I won't let anyone hurt you. Not now. Not ever. They'd have to get past me first. I love you so much, Raphie."  
"I love ya too, Leo. Thank ya for bein' here. I don't know what I'd do without ya."  
"You'll never have to find out. I'm not going to leave you, okay?"

Raphael sniffed and nodded, his beak nuzzled into the crook of Leo's neck, the leader's musk that was tinged with sandalwood comforting him.

I'm so lucky ta have his love, Raphael thought, as he inhaled Leo's scent. That's the one good thing I've got. Him. I hope I never lose him, because I don't know what I'd do without him. He's my rock, my anchor, my oasis, my everythin'.

Leo pulled away, kissed Raphael's tears away and said, "My love, do you think you can eat anything? I made breakfast, but it's cold now."  
"I ain't hungry. Sorry. I just wanna snuggle. I'm sorry ya went ta all that trouble and it's ruined."  
"You have nothing to apologize for, Raphie. We'll lie here and cuddle and when you're ready, we'll have breakfast. How does that sound?"  
"All right," Raphael sniffed.  
"Good. Lie down."

They lay down, arms wrapped around one another, Raphael's beak buried in the crook of Leo's neck, his body pressed as close as he could against Leo.

Leo soon heard Raphael snore, but he couldn't sleep, his mind plagued with his conflicted feelings. I have to talk to Dad about them, he thought. As for Raph, the poor guy's been through hell all and back and he's clinging to me like a lifeline. I've never seen him so broken and it pierces my heart. That fucking Shredder's going to pay big time.

Leo finally drifted off to sleep.

The leader woke up two hours later and sensing him stirring, Raphael opened his eyes and gazed at him.

"Hey," Leo said softly. "How are you feeling now, Raphie?"  
"Warm, secure, loved."  
"You are," Leo said and kissed his beak, making him blush. "You're so warm as well and I love your scent. I can't get enough of it. It's so manly. Just like you."  
"Yeah? A real man wouldn't have let himself be fucked by his arch enemy," Raphael said bitterly. "I'm just a nothin' and a weak creature ta be despised. The Shredder was right and ya deserve better than me, Leo. I deserved what I got, didn't I? It ain't like I fought back and…."  
"Raphael, stop it!" Leo said firmly. "I won't have you saying shit like that. You're not a nothing and you didn't deserve it. No one deserves to be treated that way. No one. It wasn't your fault and it doesn't mean that you aren't a real man. It just means that you were violated in one of the worst ways possible and it doesn't change or reflect who you are. You're still the same person. You've just been through hell, but you'll get through it. I know you will and you'll smile again and laugh and...Shredder's a nothing, a monster, the vilest person. Only a monster would violate someone that brutally, Raph, and you aren't one. You're wonderful, sexy, caring, gentle, my best friend, my mate and I love you with every fiber of my being. It wounds me when you talk ill about yourself and blame yourself for it. Stop it."  
"I can't help it. I replay that evenin' over and over in my head, Leo, and I'm mad, because I couldn't defend myself. I always have been able, but he fuckin' paralyzed me and all I could do was lie there and take it. I'm conflicted, ya know. I know it was his fault and I did nothin' wrong, but I'm mad at myself, because it happened. Do ya understand? I'm the Alpha and macho guy, Leo. It wasn't supposed ta happen. Not ta me."  
"I understand, but it did happen and it's not your fault. It could happen to anyone, okay? Shit. It could even happen to me, but it doesn't change who the person is and it doesn't change my opinion of you."  
"If I had ta choose, I'd rather it have happened ta me than ya. Yer pure goodness and ya don't deserve that."  
"You didn't either. I want you to stop blaming yourself and being so hard on yourself. The blame is squarely on Shredder. Not you. I want you to see yourself through my eyes and see how much you're adored and loved and to focus on that. I want you to know how special you are. I want to hear you laugh and to see you smile again, Raphie. Your smile could light up the darkest room and your laugh is the most wonderful thing in the world."  
"It's gonna take time, Leo. Please understand."  
"I do."  
"I don't think ya do, Leo. Ya think ya can fix me over night, but ya can't. It ain't like just puttin' a band aid on a knee and yer better, okay?"  
"I never thought that, Raph. I know it'll take time."  
"Yeah. Rape survivors take ages ta heal. Both emotionally and physically. They do have conflicted emotions, rangin' from blame and guilt ta hate and vengeance. I'm goin' through a multitude of emotions and there's only two constant ones. Love and gratitude for ya. Yer my shinin' beacon, Leo, and I'm so thankful for ya, but it's still a long process ahead a us. I just want ya ta understand. I might never be the same Raph ya knew. I can't imagine anyone bein' the same after that kinda treatment. Do ya understand? And if I ain't the same, ya will have ta decide if ya still want me. I may never be plucky again or get my fightin' mojo back. I might remain a shadow of myself."  
"I can answer that now, Raphie. I'll love you whatever you are, but you'll always be fearless to me and I'm so honored and proud you're my mate."  
"Ya sure?"  
"Yes," Leo said and tenderly kissed him on the lips. "I'm with you one hundred percent and I'll be there every step of the way, my darling."  
Raphael's heart swelled with adoration for him and he said, "I love ya too."  
"Now I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes until I tell you to open them."  
"All right," Raphael said and closed his eyes.

Leo went to his dresser, took out a bag containing presents he'd bought for his mate and took the bag to the bed.

"Open your eyes, Raphie," Leo said.  
Raphael did, saw the bag and said, "What's that?"  
"It contains your birthday presents, my love. Look inside."

Raphael pulled out four presents beautifully wrapped in gold wrapping paper with red ribbons. He carefully opened one and his eyes widened in astonishment, when he saw two tickets for the Knicks against the Lakers.

This musta cost Leo a packet, Raphael thought. Wow. The Knicks. Leo knows they're my favorite team. I can't believe it.

"Wow," Raphael said, his green eyes shining happily. "Basketball tickets. Thank ya. Ya shouldn't have, Leo. They musta been expensive. I…."  
"Worth every penny, my angel. You can take Casey if you want."  
"Nope. We're goin'. Ya and me in our disguises. Thank ya so much. I've never been ta a live a game before. Wow. I'm blown away. Yer the greatest, Leo!"  
"No. You are, my love. Open the others."

Raphael opened the other gifts and saw that he had a pair of new sai Leo had crafted for him and a crime fiction book. He loved the gifts, especially the new sai. It must have taken Leo months to make them and they were beautiful. He couldn't wait to test them out.

The final gift was a heart shaped box, which contained a plain silver ring.

Leo had planned on wearing the ring, which he'd asked April to have made for his wedding to Lotus, but Raphael didn't need to know that. This was his promise ring to Raphael now.

Raphael gawked at the ring and said, "What's this, Leo? Are ya proposin'?"  
"No. It's a promise ring, Raphie. Like your Claddagh. I'll buy you a more extravagant ring when I do propose. Let me slip it on you," Leo said and did. "Do you like it?"  
"It's beautiful," Raphael said, his eyes filling with tears. "Thank ya. I'll wear it with pride. Thank ya." He kissed Leo on the lips and added, "This has been the best birthday ever. Thank ya."  
"There's more to come. I have something special planned for tonight, but I think we should go into the kitchen now. The others will be up and they'll want to celebrate your birthday with you as well."  
"I can't wait, but I gotta ask. How come ya just had this ring lyin' 'bout?"  
"I had this ring made in the event I got married. Call me a hopeful romantic, but it looks better on you and it brings out your gorgeous eyes."  
"Ya mean ya had it made for yer weddin' with Lotus, don't ya?"  
Caught out, Leo sighed and said, "Yes, but I'm not marrying her. I'm going to marry you someday, Raphie, so this ring makes sense, doesn't it?"  
"No," Raphael said, pulling the ring off and throwing it on the bed. "If ya wanna give me a promise ring, Leo, ya give me one that was intended for me. Not for a union with someone else. I don't wanna sound ungrateful, but that's tacky!"

Damn Raphael and his pride, Leo thought, but he had a point. It had been a tacky thing to do and Raphael had a right to feel insulted.

"I'm sorry, Raph," Leo said. "You're right. I'll get you something only intended for you."  
"I'm glad ya understand. I didn't wanna sound like an asshole, but I was insulted. Ya don't do that, Leo. That's a no in a relationship, ya know."  
"I understand. Let's go to breakfast, okay?"  
"All right. Hey. The Knicks game is tomorrow night. Can ya believe it, Leo? We're goin' ta a live game. Can we get popcorn and soda and maybe ice cream after the game?"  
"Anything you want."  
"Gosh. Yer the best. Hey. That ring ya can give ta April. She could sell it or somethin' Ya will, right? It ain't like ya got a need for it now that yer with me."  
"I'll do that."  
"Cool."

The lovers dressed and headed to the kitchen, hands entwined.

That was awkward, Leo thought. Fuck it. At least it didn't spoil his day. I have to find a chance to talk to Dad and I have to call Lotus.

 **A/N Next up is Mikey's betrayal.**


	12. Mikey's betrayal

Leo and Raphael entered the kitchen and saw that Splinter and Donnie were at the table and that Mikey was at the stove. There was a pile of gifts on the table and the heavenly scent of bacon, cinnamon and eggs was in the air. Mikey was clearly cooking up a storm and there were large mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows on the table for himself and Raphael. It was the birthday boy's favorite drink.

Mugs of tea were on the table for Leo and Splinter and one containing coffee for Donnie.

But little did the family know that their mugs were spiked with a sleeping potion.

Raphael's mouth watered and his stomach rumbled. It smelled amazing and he couldn't wait to tuck in.

"Happy birthday, Raphael," Splinter said, rising to his feet and hugging his temperamental son. "Fifteen. I can't believe it. It feels like just yesterday that I was changing your diapers. I hope you have a fantastic day and many, many more."  
"Thanks, Dad."

"I kind of remember Raphie in diapers. Wasn't his poo blue?" Donnie said.  
"Donnie!" Raphael snapped and reddened.  
"What? It was. It's uncommon, but nothing to worry about. It stemmed from something you ate or drank," Donnie said with a shrug.

"Enough!" Leo said. "It's Raph's birthday and it's breakfast. None of us want to discuss that, Donnie."  
"Yours was also blue and sometimes green," Donnie said cheekily. "Wasn't that right, Dad?"

"What I remember is Raph wetting the bed until he was five," Mikey said, turning around. "That was so gross and his farts. Have you heard him? You can hear him a mile away!"  
"Enough!" Leo said, seeing his mate flush and his eyes whiten in rage. "Stop embarrassing him!"

"Oh. That reminds me of the corn story!" Mikey said and grinned.  
"Yes. We all know it, Michelangelo," Splinter said. "Enough. Let's eat and then we'll give Raphael his gifts."  
"Raphie ate corn for dinner," Mikey continued, as he set a huge plate of choc chip pancakes on the table. "And then he had a huge poop in his diaper and was sitting in it, picking out the corn and eating it when Dad found him. He wasn't concerned and was just stuffing his face. We were asleep in other cribs, but Raphie broke the crib, because he wanted to get out. I don't remember that, but Dad told us later on. You're so dirty, Raph."

"I'm gonna kill ya," Raphael snarled, his green eyes flashing. "Ya know I hate that story, but ya bring it up at least once a week!"  
"Raphael, calm down, my son," Splinter said, placing a paw on his shoulder. "Your brothers don't mean to upset you!"

"Yeah," Donnie said. "Sorry. I also have embarrassing moments, Raph, and so does Mikey. I'm sorry."  
"Whatever," Raphael grumbled and he and Leo sat down.  
"Can we start the day over?" Donnie asked. "It was my fault. I started it all."  
"Fine, but if any of ya mention poop again, I'm gonna smack ya."  
"Cool. Happy birthday, little bro. I hope it's the best one yet."  
"Thanks. It already has been," Raphael said, helping himself to eggs, bacon and pancakes.

"Yeah. Happy Birthday," Mikey said and sat down.

The rest of the family tucked in to the feast.

"Thanks, Mikey," Raphael said and looked adoringly into Leo's eyes. "Leo went all out. He made me new sai, he gave me a new crime book and he bought me tickets ta the Knicks game tomorrow night. Can ya believe it? I'm gonna see them live. It's a dream come true. I'm so lucky ta have him as my mate. He's amazin'."

Mikey burned with jealousy and he thought, drink up, Raphie, so I can get on with my plans. He smiled inwardly, when Raphael took a large gulp of his drink and thought, it won't be long now.

"That's so cool," Donnie said. "It'll make my present small in comparison, though."  
"BS," Raphael said. "I appreciate whatever I'm given and I'm grateful ta ya all. Mikey, this spread is divine. Thank ya. I know we've had bad blood lately, so thank ya for doin' it."

"It's no problem, bro," Mikey said. "It's your birthday and nothing makes me happier than seeing you and the family enjoying my cooking. Eat up. There's plenty more."

The family chatted about their plans for the rest of the day. April and Casey were coming over for a small party in the evening and Raphael was looking forward to it. He hadn't seen them in a long time and he was dying to find out what cake he was getting this year. Mikey made a different one every year. Raphael didn't care what it was, as long as there was caramel in it. It was one of his favorite treats and he'd sometimes polish off a tin of it in one sitting.

"Time to hand out the presents," Splinter said, as Mikey cleared the dishes. His eyes suddenly felt heavy and a strange sensation came over him. "I feel weird. What's…..?" His sentence trailed off, as his head fell forward onto the table, his eyes sliding shut.

"Me too," Raphael, Donnie and Leo said in unison, their heads slumping onto the table and their eyes closing.

"Yahoo!" Mikey declared and pumped his fists in the air in jubilation.

Mikey picked up his emerald skinned turtle, moaning at how heavy he was and took him to the designated meeting place.

XXXXX

"Here he is," Mikey said and dumped Raphael on the ground at Shredder's feet. "Take him away and do with him what you want. Oh. Today's his birthday. His fifteenth. You might want to give him a present. My family is sleeping, as planned and should wake up in an hour or so."  
"You really are cold, Michelangelo," Shredder said, looking at the sleeping turtle. "A man after my own heart. Don't worry. I have wicked plans for this beast. Bebop, bring my pet. We need to leave at once."

"Yes, boss," Bebop said and picked up Raphael. "Damn. He weighs a ton."  
"Yeah? Isn't he a lardass?" Rocksteady said and chuckled. "He'll lose weight soon enough with his new diet! Boss, do you think I could have a crack at the creature?"

"It'll be a toy for the entire compound," Shredder said. "Now hurry before those blasted other turtles wake up. It's been a pleasure doing busy with you, Michelangelo."

Michelangelo beamed, as he watched the villains carry their prey off to their pad. Raphael was gone and life was looking up. He had an explanation for Raphael's disappearance. Hopefully, his family bought it or he was in deep trouble.

Michelangelo headed back to the lair, made some hot chocolate, poured the sleeping potion into it and gulped it down. Then he waited for it to affect him. It soon did and he joined his brothers in the land of slumber.

XXXXX

Raphael woke up a couple of hours later, feeling groggy and something tight around his neck. What the fuck happened, he thought? The last thing I remember is eatin' breakfast with my family. He opened his eyes and noticed the room was pitch dark. What the hell, he thought? Did the lair's power go out?

He tried to remove the thing around his neck, but it wouldn't budge. It's a collar, he thought in alarm and it's probably got a lock at the back of it, so I can't remove it. It's chafin' my neck and I hate it. I ain't no damn animal. He tried to move, but quickly sat down when he realized that the collar was attached to a chain on the wall and that he'd choke if he attempted to go far.

Raphael's eyes soon adjusted to the dark and he picked out a trough of water near him, a bowl of pellets and a plate of fruit. This ain't the lair, he thought in panic. I'm in a cage or a prison of some kind, but how did I get here? Are the others here? I ain't no fuckin' animal. I'm a sentient bein' and I fuckin' resent bein' here! Fuck! Calm down, Raph. Yer brothers will find ya. Ya gotta just be patient. They'll find ya. They always do.

He looked down at himself and noticed that he was completely nude and that he was sitting on a mattress. Okay. Fuck being patient. He was naked and vulnerable now. Whoever had taken him clearly wanted to humiliate him, but who? Was it creepy Bishop, the wacko scientist, who wished to dissect his brothers and himself for experiments? Or was it someone else?

Heavy footsteps entered the room and a familiar voice said, "Good afternoon, my pet."

A shiver went down Raphael's spine and he instintively pressed his tail firmly against his body, fearing another onslaught.

Feigning bravado, as the villain peered down at him, Raphael growled, "So it's ya, ya fuckin' bastard. Shoulda known it."  
"Hmmm. I believe it's your birthday today, isn't it, pet?" Shredder said and bent down. He cupped Raphael's cheek and said, "Your fifteenth, is it not? Michelangelo told me."  
"Why the fuck would Mikey talk ta ya, ya fuckin' psycho?" Raphael hissed and turned his head away.  
"Because we have an understanding," Shredder said and began to undress. "He hates you. I don't know what you've done to warrant that, but it must be pretty terrible."  
"My bro would never make a deal with ya! Yer lyin'." Raphael yelled. "My bros love me no matter how much we fight and they wouldn't do that."  
"Oh. I think not," Shredder said, undoing his fly, the sound of the zipper turning Raphael's heart to lead and his blood turning to ice. "Your brother spiked your drinks with a sleeping potion and then he gave me to you. That's right. Your brother betrayed you, Raphael. Your own flesh and blood and now you belong to me. I'm your Master, you're my pet, my little uke and probably the compound's as well. Be a good little uke and part your legs, so that I can give you your birthday present."

Hurt, betrayal, trepidation, misery and grief hit Raphael like a ton of bricks, as Shredder shoved him down onto the mattress, his warm breath tickling Raphael's neck.

Mikey betrayed me, Raphael thought, trying to fight back, but the villain was too strong and easily over powered him, pinning him down and forcing his legs apart. Mikey did this, so he could have Leo. I'm never gonna forgive him for as long as I live. Leo, find me. Leo, Leo. Leo, please find me. Leo!

Shredder thrust deep and savagely into him, causing him to shriek, his cries echoing throughout the compound.

Raphael squeezed his eyes shut, as the villain continued pounding away and prayed for it to be over soon. Every part of him hurt, but the worst hurt was the knowledge that his brother had sold him down the tube to their arch enemy, the man who'd violated him and broken him. And all because he was jealous that Raphael was with Leo. Some brother he was. He was wicked and Raphael hoped the others would find out about his deception before it was too late.

I would never do that ta Mikey or no one, Raphael thought wretchedly, as Shredder stabbed at his prostate.

A reluctant rumble rolled up Raphael's throat at the now pleasurable sensation and Shredder chuckled.

"You like that, my uke, don't you?" Shredder said. "That's right. Churr, my obedient pet. Churr and make those adorable noises for your Master. Good boy."

Raphael churred, feeling sick to his stomach that he was making those noises, but he couldn't stop himself. He didn't want it, but his body clearly did. He really was a weak creature, wasn't he? Leo would dislike him now if he saw him and he wouldn't want him anymore. With good reason. He was trash, Shredder's uke, a pet and nothing worth caring about.

Leo, Raphael thought. Leo. I'm never gonna see ya again, am I? Maybe that's a good thing, because I ain't gonna be the guy ya once knew. I'm broken, destroyed and nothin' can fix me. Nothin'. Mikey won and so did the Shredder. I'm irreparable.

Shredder fucked him relentlessly and when he'd finally finished, he pulled out, dressed and said, "Your food's in the corner over there, pet. Make sure you eat. I'm talking to you, pet. Answer me."

Green eyes looked at him and Raphael said in a broken tone, as cum dripped down his thighs, "Okay."  
"Ah. No fight in you, beast?" Shredder said. "Good. I didn't think you'd crack so easily. I was convinced you'd give me hell, which you always did. Now you're just meek and pathetic, which is perfection."  
"Ya won. Happy now?"  
"No. I'd love Leonardo under my spell as well."  
"Ya stay away from Leo. Please."  
"Please? Wow. You're really so tame now, Raphael. Please. Haha. I'll do whatever I want. I don't take orders from you, a lowly slut, who can't even perform well. Get some rest. I'll be back tonight with some toys. You like toys, Raphael? You'll love these. Hahaha."

Shredder left, locking the door behind him.

A shattered Raphael lay down on his mattress and said, as tears ran down his face, "Leo, I wanna die from the shame and the brutality, but I'm gonna try and hang on for ya and yer love. Just find me before it's too late and I'm totally dead inside. Please. I can't take much more."

An unseen figure peered through the window at Raphael, having watched his entire torment undetected, and thought, that's just a kid. I know we have beef together, but that's just a kid. He belongs with his family and doesn't deserve all he's endured. I have to do something to help him.

 **A/N Who saw Raphael's torture? Will Raphael escape?**


	13. Tiger Claw

Leo, Splinter, Donnie and Mikey woke up later that day and rubbed their eyes.

"Dude, what happened?" Mikey said. "The last thing I remember is passing out."  
"Me too!" Donnie and Splinter said in unison.

Noticing Raphael's absence, Leo said in a panicked tone, "That happened to me and I bet it happened to Raph. It'd explain why he's not here. Maybe we were drugged, someone infiltrated the lair and took him. The Shredder perhaps, but how would he bypass security? Someone would have to give him the security codes and….." His eyes landed on Mikey, who inwardly trembled at his gaze, fearing the gig was up. "Mikey, did you give anyone the security codes, because you were upset with Raph?"  
"No way, dude. I'd never sell my family down the drain, as much as they annoy me at times. That'd be the worst betrayal and unforgiveable. I have a theory for his absence. Raph mentioned a long time ago that he wanted to go out and make a future for himself. Maybe he did that."  
"On his birthday and when he knew there was a party for him? He was excited about the party and couldn't stop talking about it. I don't believe he'd do something so thoughtless, when he knew people had done so much to make his day special."

"You know, Leo. It's highly possible someone did infiltrate the lair," Donnie said sadly. "I've had some issues with security lately and…."  
"And you didn't mention that why?" Leo demanded.  
"Look, I've been overworked. I'm the medic, the shrink, the therapist, the IT tech, much more and I can't do everything, Leo! I meant to examine the security system today and to update it. Shit. It's my fault Raph was taken," Donnie said, his eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry, Leo."

Whew, Mikey thought in relief. Donnie's getting chewed out. I'm safe and no one will think it was me now.

"My son," Splinter said and placed a paw on Donnie's shoulder. "Do not blame yourself. It is true. You're overwhelmed at times. We will find Raphael. Does anyone have a theory why they'd only kidnap him?"  
"Um, because he's the hothead and they'd have the most fun breaking him?" Mikey suggested. "I bet it was the Rat King, who took Raph. He seemed to have a crush on him or it's Slash, who wants Raph to join him. I reckon Slash has the hots for Raph. We should check them out."

"No. There's another reason," Donnie said. "Raph wanted us to keep it a secret until he was ready to tell you guys. I learned he was intersex when we dated and it freaked me out. I cheated with April, hoping he'd dump me. He didn't and I dumped him. I sound like a jackass, but I couldn't bear the thought of having a family with Raph or of being with him. The idea was too repulsive. I only had sex with Raph once and I think that's why he was taken. His abductor wants to breed him. It doesn't explain why we weren't taken, though, because you'd think they'd want us to breed with Raph."  
"But sleeping with him wasn't?" Splinter said dryly. Donnie flushed and hung his head.

"Raph can have babies?" Mikey said in amazement.  
"That's right," Leo said sadly. "There's a good chance he'll fall gravid with chrome dome's babies and he'll spend the rest of his life as a breeding machine if we can't find him. Can you imagine that? He'll be bred continuously and probably spend his life in a vivarium. His babies will be taken away for experiments and Raph will be a train wreck, having watched them killed. He'll never recover from it all and will remain broken, a shell of himself for all eternity. He'll never be able to escape and we'll never see him again. I'll never get to tell him how I…." Leo wiped tears away with the back of his hand and said, "I've been having conflicted feelings about him since the kiss on the roof top the other evening and our intimacy in my room and….It felt so good with him and it shouldn't have, because I've always been in love with Lotus and….Maybe I'm in love with him and I've been in denial the entire time." Leo blushed and said, "He licked me and touched me and I liked it. I didn't want to, but I did… I….Maybe it wasn't just out of pity and guilt that I got with him and now I'll never get to tell him that or be honest or to hug him and…" Leo hiccupped and Donnie hugged him.

"Perhaps you were in love with him before Lotus," Donnie said. "And that kiss and the intimacy reaffirmed that and it scared you Leo."  
"No. I never thought about Raph as anything more than a brother, but that kiss and spending time with him made me confused. Am I?"  
"I think you denied your feelings for him. I don't know if it's love, but if you liked spending time with Raph, you certainly have feelings for him that are more than brotherly. All I felt was abhorrence and a desire to get away as fast as I can. I love him, but I could never love him as more than a brother."

Raph can have babies, Mikey thought in horror. I didn't know that. I just wanted him out of the picture. If I'd known he could have the Shredder's babies, I'd never have gone to him. Fuck. What do I do? If I tell the guys I betrayed them, they'll never forgive me. I can't tell them. Maybe they'll find Raph. I'm going to pray they do. That's it. Oh, Raph. I never knew. Don't fall gravid. Don't.

"My son," Splinter said and placed a paw on Leo's arm. "We will find Raphael and bring him home and you will get to talk to him. We have no time to waste. We will leave immediately and search the sewers and everywhere we can think of. Michelangelo, are you all right? You look a bit sick."  
"I'm fine, Dad," Mikey lied. "Just worried about Raph."  
"Try not to worry, my son. We will find him. Come on, my sons."

Mikey followed his brothers out of the lair and through the tunnels and thought, no you won't. You'll never find him. It's all my fault and I don't have the guts to tell you. Maybe a miracle will happen and somehow Raph will come home and no one will find out what I did. Please. I couldn't bear the disgust, the hatred and resentment from my brothers, especially Leo, whom I still adore.

XXXX

The dungeon door creaked open that evening at eleven p.m. and a lone figure entered the room, carrying a pail of warm and soapy water, as well as a sponge.

Shredder had fucked Raphael after his dinner and had mercilessly brutalized him for three hours. He'd left at ten forty-five, satiated and thrilled that his quarry was a mess physically, emotionally and mentally.

Cigarette burns, welts from the whipping, cuts and bruises littered Raphael's body and one eye was swollen shut from the beating he'd been given. Dried blood and semen were crusted between his legs and thighs respectively and his tail and ass throbbed. He was filthy and battered, but he still clung to the hope of seeing Leo again, although his hope was dwindling with every onslaught.

Raphael didn't glance up, but he let out a weak growl and pressed his tail against his body, as he inwardly trembled. Shredder can't possibly want me again now, he thought. No. It smells like someone else, but who?

"I'm not going to hurt you," a familiar voice said softly and the figure sat down on the ground. "Raphael, look at me."

The turtle opened his good eye and glared at Tiger Claw.

"Ya must be glorifyin' in my abuse, Tiger Claw," Raphael said. "Don't it give ya a thrill ta see me lyin' here bleedin' and banged up with yer boss's semen and scent all over me? Don't it make ya feel good, huh? I bet yer gettin' offa it."  
"No, Raphael. It doesn't. It disgusts me. It's true I've always hated you turtles, but this…What my boss has done is unforgiveable. You never ever defile someone, least of all a child. I'm a bad man and I've done a lot of despicable things in my twenty-two years on earth, but this….I could never do this. This warrants sepukku and violates the strict ninja code and morality code in general." He dipped the sponge in the water and began to cleanse Raphael.  
Raphael winced at the touch and said, "What are ya doin'?"  
"I'm washing you. You're dirty."  
"So I can be clean for him again, huh? Is that it? I bet he told ya ta."  
"I'm in charge of you…."  
"Just great," Raphael said sarcastically. "Yer gonna water me and feed me and yer gonna fuck me as well. That's what yer boss ordered ya ta do and I'm gonna fuck ya as thanks." He parted his legs, dropped his tail and said, "Go on. Fuck me with yer huge cat dick. Fuck the little turtle. Ya wanna, don't ya? Ya wanna fuck me so bad and make me scream. Go on. I can't fight back, so ya can."  
"No," Tiger Claw said firmly. "Raphael, you're my charge when the boss isn't around, but I don't want to bed you. You're a kid, who deserves to be with his family. Not here. You'll be home with your family soon. I'll see to it. You just have to trust me."  
Raphael narrowed his green eyes and said, "How can I after all ya've done ta me and my brothers?"  
"Because you have no other choice and because I'm sincere. My boss is leaving for Japan in a few days' time and I'll be able to break you out then."  
"How long is a few days' time?"  
"Five days and maybe less if the boss leaves earlier. Try to hold on until then and know I won't let anyone else touch you."

Raphael thought about Leo and his eyes and face lit up.

"Ya mean I'm gonna see Leo again?" Raphael said excitedly. "Really?"  
"You'll see all of your family," Tiger Claw said. "But it seems like you have a closer connection to Leonardo," he added, as he resumed washing Raphael, the sponge quickly turning brown with the grime.  
"Yeah. He's my mate," Raphael said softly. "If ya get me home, Leo and my family might consider droppin' the feud with ya."  
"That's nice. I have a girlfriend and I can't imagine life without her, but I thought you were bio brothers?"  
"No. None of us are. Ya also gotta get me out fast, because I'm intersex and I could fall gravid with chrome dome's babies. I don't want him ta know."  
"You poor soul," Tiger Claw said and clucked his tongue sympathetically, as he finished washing the turtle. "I'll get you home. I promise. Now let me loosen these chains, so that you can sleep better."

Tiger Claw unchained Raphael and removed the collar from around his neck.

Raphael rubbed his bruised neck and said, "Thank ya, Tiger Claw. I still don't know if I can trust ya, but thank ya. I'll be eternally grateful if ya get me back ta Leo. He must be outta his shell with worry."  
"Get some sleep, Raphael. I'll see you in the morning."

Raphael lay down on the mattress and thought, I hope he keeps his word and that I can hang on until then. No. I will hang on. I'm gonna hug Leo, kiss him and tell him how much I love him and they're all gonna learn what Mikey did. I ain't gonna forgive Mikey and I doubt any of them will neither. Oh, Leo, my love. I can't wait until I'm in yer arms.

 **A/N Can Raph hang on for a few more days?**


	14. Reunited

Karai paid Raphael a visit at 2 a.m. and said sneeringly, "Not so tough now are you, Raphael? You're a weak creature and pathetic. It serves you right after all the shit you caused me and my family and for your incessant snarky comments."

Raphael hung his head, trying to ignore the taunts.

"Oh? No come backs, Raphael?" Karai said with a smirk. "Man, I like this new and improved you. You're nothing more than Dad's bitch now and probably the compound's as well. I bet you love Dad's dick plugging your holes and filling you with his warm seed. That's your purpose, Raphael, and that's how you'll spend your life. Your brothers would laugh at you if they saw you now. Raphael, the little slut, who churrs for his Master. Such a good boy, aren't you? An obedient uke for your Alpha."

Footsteps entered the dungeon. Karai hadn't closed the door behind her.

"Karai, enough!" Tiger Claw said angrily. "He's just a kid."  
"You sweet on him, Tiger? You want to test him out?" Karai said and laughed. "Have you forgotten how much trouble this 'kid' has caused for us?"  
"No, but he's a kid, Karai. Not much younger than you. Leave him alone."  
"Aw, but I'm having so much fun and I was only getting started. Hey, Raphael. Tiger wants to fuck you. Why don't you be a good boy and part your legs for him, so I can watch?"  
"I don't want to," Tiger Claw snapped. "Have you no sense of morality or compassion, Karai? Your father raped him. No one deserves that."  
"The Turtles are our enemies, Tiger."  
"I get that, but rape, Karai? That's twisted, sick, especially to a kid. Look at him. He's battered, broken, humiliated and your father did that with no remorse. Whatever Raphael has done, he doesn't deserve that. No one does. Look inside your heart and find the sweet and compassionate woman I fell in love with."  
"Raphael's a bastard, Tiger Claw. He mocked me."  
"Grr. I understand, but this….What your father's done is evil, Karai. He defiled a child, who belongs with his father. Imagine if it'd happened to you. Wouldn't you want your family? Raphael's only fifteen, Karai. Did you know that? You're only four years older than him. Show some heart. He's been through hell and back and his nightmare's only starting if we don't help him."  
"Help him? How? Why would I want to help that piece of shit?" Karai hissed and glowered at the still silent Raphael.  
"Because deep down you're a loving and caring person, Karai, and the woman I fell in love with. You've made some bad decisions, but you're not a psychopath like your father. You know this is wrong and you know Raphael doesn't deserve it. You know taking him to his family is the right thing to do."  
"Did he manipulate you, Tiger? Sell you a sob story?"  
"No. Look, I've done some wicked things, but this goes against my moral compass, Karai. I feel desperately sorry for him and I don't care what he's done. All that matters is getting him home to his family, who must be insane with worry."  
"Sounds like you've made your decision. You know that's going against my family and betraying those who've been good to you. Dad took you in when you had no one. Have you forgotten? You want to betray us for a fucking turtle, who's caused us nothing but strife? You have a choice, Tiger. Help this prick and we're done. I mean it."

The bitch gave him an ultimatum. What's he gonna do, Raphael thought? He loves her, so he ain't gonna help me, is he?

"Then so be it, Karai," Tiger Claw said. "I couldn't live with myself if Raphael's undeserved abuse continued. I'm helping him and I accept the consequences of my actions without any hesitation or regret. I'm sorry we're over. I loved you so much, but maybe it's a good thing, because if you can't show compassion, even to your enemies when they're hurting, then you're someone I don't wish to know in a romantic sense or otherwise."  
"You have until sunrise to get him out of here and to find alternative accommodation. A head start. I'll pretend I don't know what happened out of loyalty for you, but I won't help you escape. My loyalty is to my father. Not a fucking wretched turtle, who I despise. I hope it was worth it, Tiger and be vigilant at all times. Dad won't take kindly to your betrayal," Karai spat and walked out of the room.

Tiger Claw sighed and thought, I'll miss her, but I have no regrets about my decision.

"Ya picked me," Raphael said softly. "Ya shoulda let me stay here, Tiger Claw. Now yer never gonna have no respite, because those assholes ain't gonna give up on findin' ya and killin' ya for yer betrayal."  
"Let me worry about that, Raphael. What's Leonardo's number?"  
"His phone is broken, so call Donnie. Are ya serious 'bout this? Yer goin' against yer family, Tiger."  
"The number, Raphael."

Raphael gave Don's number to Tiger Claw and he dialed it.

"Hello? Who's this?" Don asked, not recognizing the number.  
"It's Tiger Claw. Someone would like to speak to you." He handed the phone to Raphael.

"Donnie," Raphael said. "It's me."  
"Raph, where the hell are you?"

"Raph?" Leo said, hearing the conversation and then snatching the phone from his brother. "Raph, where are you? Are you okay?"  
"Leo, I'm okay. I'm with Tiger Claw at Shredder's compound. Tiger Claw didn't hurt me or nothin'. Listen, he's gonna help me get out, so listen ta him. He can be trusted. I love ya."  
"Oh, Raph. It's so good hearing your voice. I love you too. I swear if he's touched you, I'll…."

Tiger Claw took the phone and said, "I didn't hurt the cub, Leonardo. I'm not a good person, but I'd never harm a child. Meet me outside Marina's Fisheries by the docks in fifteen minutes and I'll give you your brother."  
"Why are you doing this?" Leo asked suspiciously.  
"I told you. See you in fifteen minutes," Tiger Claw said and ended the call.

"Right, Raphael," Tiger Claw. "We have to pretend you're dead and that I'm disposing of your corpse. It's the only way we'll get out of here."  
"I'm gonna see Leo again," Raphael said elatedly. "Thank ya, Tiger."  
"Sure," Tiger Claw said and lifted Raphael into his strong arms. "Play dead now."

Raphael closed his eyes, hoping whoever was on sentry duty would believe he was dead.

Tiger Claw steeled himself and left the dungeon, praying they didn't meet anyone.

XXXX

Tiger Claw reached his van and was about to place Raphael inside of it, when Baxter Stockman approached him.

"Tiger Claw, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Stockman demanded.  
"Taking out the trash. This turtle died from his injuries. Look at him. He's a mess. Boss really did a number on him and told me to dump the corpse outside of the compound."

Shit, Raphael thought anxiously, his heart pounding. What if Stockman checks my pulse or somethin'? He'll know I'm fakin' it then. Damn it.

"I see," Stockman said. "Pity. I'd have liked to have examined its internal organs after I fucked him. It's a really remarkable specimen. Are you sure I can't? The boss won't have to know you gave him to me. It can be our secret."  
"Gosh. I didn't know you were a necrophiliac, Baxter," Tiger Claw said and shook his head in disgust. "That's revolting. You're really depraved."  
"I know, right?" Stockman said proudly. "How else do you think I get action? No one wants to date me, so what do you say? I did an internship at the morgue once and was fired, because they caught me having some fun with a stiff. People today have no sense of fun."  
"Fuck off, you freak! The boss told me to dump him and I will. Find something else to fuck."  
"Humph. Maybe I'll look for his corpse and will dig him up. What fun I'd have," Stockman said and grinned.  
"You know, Stockman, you never fail to sicken me. Go away before you become a corpse yourself. Now that'd be fun, watching the light die out in your eyes and then I'd dump you in the ocean!"  
"You don't have to be so mean, Tiger Claw," Stockman said, backing away and regarding him fearfully. "I'm going. Maybe Hun has someone for me to play with," he added and walked off.

Tiger Claw sighed and thought, what a freak, as he loaded Raphael into the back of the van. Then he got in, started the engine and drove to the warehouse.

XXXXX

Leo and Don had told Mikey and Splinter the wonderful news about Raphael, but to Leo's surprise Mikey wasn't that enthusiastic.

Leo suggested Splinter should go home and wait there for them. He agreed.

Maybe Mikey's just tired, Leo thought, as they headed to the docks. It's been a long and stressful day. Oh, Raph. I can't wait to see him and to hug him.

Mikey thought, the shit's going to hit the fan soon and I'm going to be in so much trouble if Raph knows it was me, who set up his abduction. Maybe I'll get lucky and he doesn't know.

XXXX

Tiger Claw reached the warehouse first, opened the trunk and said, "We're here, Raphael. Are you okay?"  
"I'm good, knowin' I'll soon be back with my Leo and family. I can't thank ya enough and I'm be eternally grateful."  
"It's all right, cub. They'll soon be here."  
"What are ya gonna do? Ya can't go back ta Shredder."  
"I don't know. Maybe I'll seek out my sister, Alopex. I haven't seen her in years since our fight and I'd like to make amends."  
"Wow. Ya've got a sister. I didn't know."  
"Yes. There's a lot about me you don't know. Alopex is my only family. We fell out when I joined Shredder, because she wasn't happy about it and wanted to do good, but I was a stubborn jerk and ignored her. I haven't seen her since. That was six years ago. I still have her number. I'm hoping she hasn't changed it. I'll talk to her and take it from there. Maybe helping you was a blessing, so I could get out of that lifestyle and change my evil ways."

Leo, Donnie and Mikey arrived.

Leo jumped out of the van and was soon joined by the others.

"Raph!" Leo said and ran to the van. "Raph, you're here. Oh, Raph. What happened to you? You're a mess. Who did this to you, my angel?"  
"Hey, Leo," Raphael said, his green eyes and face lighting up at the sight of his lover. "Yer really here. I thought I'd never see ya again."  
"I'm here, my darling," Leo said and peppered his face with soft kisses. "I'm here and you're going home. I'm never letting you out of my sight again. Tiger Claw, thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you."

"Yeah," Donnie said and squeezed Raphael's hand. "Thank you. We still don't fully understand why you did this, but we're so grateful, Tiger Claw."

"Good to see you, Raph," Mikey said, feeling awkward, as Raphael ignored him.

Shit. Does he know, Mikey thought anxiously? Does he know I betrayed him?

"You're welcome," Tiger Claw said. "Take him home and the best of luck to you all, especially you, Raphael. I hope you and your mate have an amazing life together and lots of young. Yes. I know he can have babies and that you're a couple, Leonardo. Be happy. I need to go."

Don shared a look with Leo and said, "You know...The feud…Consider it over, Tiger Claw, and you're more than welcome to join the Mutanimals if you want to want to change your ways."

"I'll consider it, cub, but I first wish to reconnect with my sister. Raphael will fill you in. Goodbye, Raphael," Tiger Claw said and patted his shoulder. "Take care."  
"Ya too," Raphael said, his green eyes filling with tears. "And thank ya. I'll never forget this, Tiger Claw. Yer a cool guy and I owe ya."  
"You owe me nothing. Just be happy."

"If you want to talk, call my phone, Tiger Claw," Don said. "Later. Come on, guys."

Leo lifted Raphael into his arms and they went to their van.

XXXXXX

Leo placed Raphael on a stretcher in the back and Donnie sat with them, while Mikey drove.

Mikey turned on the radio, trying to calm himself down, focused on the music and didn't hear the conversation in the back.

"My sweet darling," Leo said and kissed Raphael's beak, "I'm so happy you're safe, Raphie."  
"I missed ya so much. Yer love and the thought of seein' ya again helped me get through it all and Tiger Claw was nice. He cleaned me, fed me and gave me water. Ya should know Shredder hurt me again, Leo. He beat me, fucked me and I wanted ta die, but I held on ta see ya. I can't believe I'm with ya and we're goin' home again."  
"Rest, my darling. You're safe now and someday that vile bastard will pay for all he's done."

"Damn straight," Donnie said. "The fucking bastard's going down. I'm so sorry, Raph, but we've got you now and you're safe. I need to examine you when we're home."  
"Sure. Do what ya need ta. I know I'll survive this, because I won't let that psychopath Shredder and Mikey win!" Raphael said resolutely.

"Mikey?" Leo and Donnie said in stunned unison, eye ridges raised.

"Yeah, Mikey!" Raphael said. "He drugged us all with a sleepin' potion. Then he gave me ta the Shredder, because he wanted me outta the picture, Leo. He wants ya and he'll stop at nothin' ta achieve it. Even betrayin' his brother."  
"Raph, Mikey gave you to the Shredder?" Leo asked.  
"Yeah. He did and was proud 'bout it. It's his fault I was fuckin' raped and tortured and I ain't gonna forgive him. I fuckin' hate him, Leo. He knew what Shredder did ta me and he gave me back ta the fuckin' sadistic asshole. What kinda brother does that?"  
"One that's now clanless," Leo said crossly, his sapphire eyes blazing. "Oh, Raph. I'm sorry, my angel. The trauma you must have endured and knowing Mikey was the cause of it all. My darling love," Leo said and smothered Raphael's face with kisses. "Everything's going to be okay."  
"It will be, because I ain't gonna crack and give them that satisfaction. I'm gonna heal and me and ya are gonna have an amazin' life together and kids someday."  
"We will, my love. Anything you want. I'm so sorry I should have quizzed Mikey more and..."  
"Don't blame yerself, Leo. It ain't yer fault. It's Mikey's. Mikey's and Shredder's and I hate them more than I've ever hated anyone."

"You know," Donnie said. "I love Mikey, but what he's done is unforgiveable and he must suffer the consequences, whatever we and Dad decide. Get some rest, Raph, okay? You're safe and me and Leo won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

Leo stroked Raphael's face and said, "My darling, I assure you Mikey will pay, even if he's our brother. No one hurts my family and gets away with it, even if it's family, who does it."

Raphael nodded, closed his eyes and thought, I'm back with my Leo and I'm gonna get through this. Chrome dome and Mikey ain't gonna win and I'm gonna have the best life with my treasured Leo. I just hope I don't fall gravid with Shredder's babies. I'd love them if I did, but I don't want that. I really don't want that added pressure. Ain't I endured enough? Please don't let that happen.

 **A/N Still more chapters planned. :)**

 **What punishment will Mikey receive?**


	15. Exiled

The family arrived home a while later and Leo carried Raphael into the lair.

Splinter was waiting for them in the lounge with Casey and April, who'd arrived a few minutes earlier. The rat had alerted them of Raphael's disappearance and they'd canvassed the city for him. He'd then informed them that Raphael had been found and he'd soon be home.

"My poor son," Splinter said, looking sadly at Raphael. "What happened?"

"Raph, dude, what the heck happened to you?" Casey said in dismay.

"Oh, Raph," April managed, blinking back tears.

"I'm gonna be okay, guys," Raphael said bravely. "Shredder took me and hurt me in the cruelest way, but Tiger Claw freed me and now I'm home. He's a cool guy. Who'd a thought he had a heart? He said I didn't deserve the abuse and he freed me. I'm gonna be okay, but ya should know there's a traitor in our midst." He looked at a trembling Mikey and said, "Ain't that right, Michelangelo?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about, Raph," Mikey said nonchalantly, praying everyone bought his act.  
"The hell ya don't," Raphael hissed, his green eyes flashing. "Ya know exactly what happened. Ya drugged us with a sleepin' potion and then gave me ta the Shredder ta get me outta the picture, because yer obsessed with Leo. Chrome dome told me and he had no reason ta lie. Yer a fuckin' sack a shit!"  
"Raph's imagining things," Mikey said, trying not to show his nervousness. "I wouldn't do such a despicable thing, especially to one of my brothers. I…"

"Raph wouldn't lie," Leo piped up. "I believe him."

"Michelangelo?" Splinter said sharply, staring at Mikey. "Is that true? Leonardo, take Raphael to the infirmary. He needs his injuries examined."  
"They can wait, Dad," Raphael said. "It's all true. Leo, place me on the couch. Go on, Michelangelo. Be a man and admit what ya did ta me, yer brother. Ya knew what Shredder did ta me before and ya gave me him back ta him. Admit it, ya fuckin' coward!"

Leo placed Raphael on the couch, sat down beside him and held his hand.

Mikey couldn't keep up his charade any longer. Shaking like a leaf, he nodded, as tears streamed down his cheeks, his horrified family and friends looking at him like he was a monster.

"It's true," Mikey said tearfully. "Leo and I had a one night stand and we agreed it was a mistake, but it wasn't for me. Not really. I loved it and I've been in love with Leo forever. I didn't have the guts to tell him, but when he began seeing Raph, I became so incensed and fueled with jealousy, I decided that if I couldn't have Leo, Raph couldn't either. I made plans with Shredder to give Raph to him. I then drugged you all with a sleeping potion, gave Raph to Shredder and drugged myself, so no one would be suspicious. I felt awful when I learned Raph could have tin can's babies, but by then the damage had been done and I was too much of a chicken to own up. I was afraid you guys would banish me and disown me. I feel…I'm sorry, Raph. I…."  
"I FUCKIN' HATE YA!" Raphael roared, his green eyes blazing. "Have ya any idea what that fucker did ta me. I'm lucky ta be alive and I only am, because Leo's love kept me goin' and Tiger Claw was kind! I coulda died, ya fuckin' asshole. Yer dead ta me, Michelangelo. Now and forever. Leo, take me outta here. I can't bear ta be in the same room as him."  
Mikey fell to his knees and said beseechingly, "Raph, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I…"  
"GO TA FUCKIN' HELL. I mean what I said. Yer dead ta me. I don't wanna see ya."

"Me either," Donnie said irately, his hazel eyes flashing. "You don't betray family, especially your brother, Mikey. It's unforgiveable."

"Damn straight," Leo said heatedly. "I hate you. You're absolutely despicable, Michelangelo. Poor Raph. I won't forgive you."

"Dad," Mikey said, his heart shattering at Leo's words. Knowing his brothers despised him hurt like hell, but Leo's words cut him up more.

"How could you, Mikey?" Casey said furiously. "Raph loved you so much. How could you betray him like that?"

"You're a shit, Mikey," April said irately. "Poor Raph. The trauma he must have endured. If you were my brother I wouldn't forgive you."

"I agree with my sons," Splinter said. "Michelangelo, what you did is unforgiveable and you must suffer the consequences for your actions. I leave it up to Raphael to decide your punishment. Betrayal would be punished with seppuku in years past. Raphael?"

Raphael looked at a shaking Mikey and no matter how much he loathed him he couldn't find it in his heart to order seppuku. They'd been close once upon a time and maybe he was soft, but he couldn't do it and besides, it was also an easy punishment in a way. No. He wanted Mikey to live with the knowledge of what he'd done and to carry the burden of it. That would be a huge cross to bear and one he deserved.

"I want him exiled and cast outta our clan and family," Raphael said firmly. "He can live with the Mutanimals for the resta his life and live with what he's done ta me and our family. I might forgive him someday, but that's my choice and even if I do, it don't mean I wanna see him."  
"Very well," Splinter said. "You'll leave now, Michelangelo. Go pack your bags."

"Raph, please," Mikey pleaded, turning puppy dog eyes on him.  
"Fuck ya," Raphael growled. "Ya showed me no mercy. I'm showin' ya some. Be grateful, ya bastard. I coulda ordered yer death. Fuckin' get outta my sight before I do."

Mikey fled to his room, tears running down his face, and followed by Splinter.

"It's going to be okay, Raph," Leo said, squeezing his hand. "I know it was tough sending Mikey away. You still love him despite all he's done. We all do, but this has to happen. He can't get away with his actions."

"That's true," Casey said. "You guys stay here. I'll escort Mikey to the Mutanimals. Raph, if you need or want anything, bro, let me know."  
"Thanks, Case, but I got all I want and need here. Leo's gonna take care of me."  
"So you guys really are a couple?"  
"Yeah."  
"That's nice, bro. I hope he makes you happy."  
"He does. Come by tomorrow if ya ain't busy and we could watch some movies."  
"Cool," Casey said, He patted Raphael's arm and said, "Bro, I don't want to be mushy, but if anything happened to you and you didn't make it, I'd miss you so much. You're family, Raph, and I love you."  
"Sap," Raphael said, blinking back tears. "Look what ya've done. Ya've made me cry! Nice goin'. But I'd miss ya and I love ya too, Case."

"Hey, Raph. I'd like to say something," April said nervously. "About me and Donnie. We never spoke about it and made peace and…."  
"It's all good, because I got who I've always wanted," Raphael said, looking adoringly into Leo's eyes. "I'm unbelievably happy with Leo, so ya did me a favor. Be happy, April. Leo, take me ta the infirmary before the traitor returns ta the lounge."  
"Do you guys need anything?" April asked.

Leo shook his head and said, "No, thanks."

"Then I'll go home and will see you tomorrow," April said and kissed Don's cheek. "Night, Don. I love you."  
"Love you too."

They waved her goodbye and she left.

Leo lifted Raphael into his strong arms and carried him to the infirmary, followed by Don.

Casey waited for Mikey.

XXXX

Mikey entered the lounge with Splinter, who looked at him contemptuously, his eyes stony and his arms folded.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Mikey sobbed. "I really am."  
"I am not your Father. You are nothing to me until we feel you've done enough penance, Michelangelo. That might never happen. I wish you good luck with any endeavors. Goodbye," Splinter said coldly and turned his back, tears streaming down his cheeks, despite his chilly demeanor. It was tough casting out his beloved son, a son he'd always treasured and nurtured. It was like a dagger in his heart, even though he knew Mikey deserved his punishment. He'd miss the teenager incredibly. They all would and the family would never be the same without him.  
Mikey sniffed, bowed and said, "I hope someday I'll be forgiven and can return home. I'll never stop hoping. Goodbye. I'll miss you all so much."

"Come on, Mikey," Casey said crossly. "it's late and I want to go to bed ASAP."

Mikey left the lair with Casey, his shoulders slumped and his spirits low.

XXXX

Meanwhile, Don examined Raphael, who lay sat on a stretcher. He then washed Raphael's cuts and bruises and applied soothing lotion to them.

Leo sat down on a chair by the bed and held Raphael's hand.

"You should heal in a few days, Raph," Don said. "I'd like you to stay here tonight, okay? Leo can stay with you. I'd also like to apologize for my actions. I treated you abysmally and I never gave you a chance."  
"Ya didn't and that hurt like hell. I can't change who and what I am, Don. I loved ya and I tried bein' what ya needed, but I was never good enough, especially when ya saw I was a freak and called me that. Yer words cut me up so bad and I couldn't look at myself in the mirror for days. All I saw was an abomination and a freak of nature. Then I woke up one day and I decided screw it. Ya ain't the only guy on the planet. I've always loved Leo more than ya, so I kissed him on the roof top and admitted my feelings and well….It all worked out. I got him and I couldn't be happier, so yer dumpin' me was a blessin' in disguise."  
"I am so sorry. I shouldn't have called you that. I hope you can forgive me."  
"Like I said, I got who I want and I'm happy. It's all water under the bridge, Donnie."  
"Thank you. I'm grateful. I'd hate there to be bad blood, Raph. I love you and I couldn't and don't want to imagine a world without you."  
Raphael sniffed and said, "Man, yer all turnin' into saps tonight. First Case and now ya, Donnie, but I feel the same way. I love ya, bro."

"Me too," Leo said. "I love you both."

"Do you think you'll ever forgive Mikey, Raph?" Donnie said.  
"I don't think so. Not the way I feel now, but who knows how I'll feel someday? He gave me ta a psychopath knowin' what I'd been through before and he didn't care. Could ya be so forgivin'?"  
"No."  
"Then don't pressure me 'bout it, okay? If ya wanna go see Mikey after all ya said, that's yer business and I won't be mad at ya, but I sure as hell ain't gonna see him. It'd mean ya would be sidin' with him, but that'd be on yer conscience."  
"No, Raph. I won't see him. I was just asking. Can I bring you anything?"  
"A sandwich and some water, please."  
"Coming up. See you in a few."

"Hey, Raph," Leo said. "There's something I want to get off my chest."  
"What is it?"  
"I love you so much and the thought of losing you made me feel like I couldn't breathe and…I was so worried you'd been killed and…." Leo said, his eyes filling with tears.  
"I'm here, baby," Raphael said and nuzzled his beak against Leo's hand. "I ain't goin' nowhere. Yer stuck with me."  
"I want to admit something. I feel you need to know."  
"This sounds serious. Ya havin' second thoughts 'bout me?"  
"Of course not. It's just… I wasn't in love with you on the roof top, okay? I've always been in love with Lotus. The whole thing we had after was initially built on my guilt for the hell you went through. I blamed myself for what Shredder did to you and I…."  
"So ya lied ta me and never loved me," Raphael said in a broken voice. "Ya don't really. Go on, Leo. Tell me. I can take it."  
"No! My words seemed to help you and you'd never been happier, so I went along with it and said I loved you. Dad didn't buy it and told me I had six weeks to really fall in love with you and if it didn't happen, I had to tell you the truth. I didn't want to hurt you, so I hoped I'd really fall in love with you and…."  
"Wow. I must really be unlovable. Donnie cheats, calls me a freak and ya can't stand the thought of bein' in love with me…..I can't believe I bought what ya said. I'm such a dumb…."  
"Raph," Leo said and kissed his hand. "That's not true. You're amazing. I saw it when we had our dates and in all the time we spent together. I loved it when we had oral sex, but I…I continued denying my feelings for you. That kiss on the roof top did stir something, but I ignored it and told myself I loved Lotus. It wasn't until you went missing that I realized just how much you meant to me and that I had the courage to accept my feelings. I was insane with worry and grief and guilt that I'd never get to tell you just how much I really love you. That's the truth. All of it. I love you so much with every fiber of my bein' and I'm grateful and honored that I have you. Please say something."

Disbelief and hurt flashed on Raphael's face and he blinked back unwanted tears. Did I really hear him right, Raphael thought? Leo never loved me? It was all a lie. How could he do that ta me?

"What do ya want me ta say, Leo? I'm staggered by yer admission, because I believed ya. it was all a lie and I..." Raphael said.  
"No...Please let me explain."  
"No. Ya listen ta me. I'm hurt ya got with me ta spare my feelings and just ta make me feel better. Ya coulda been honest, but ya fed me shit and I fell for it. Am I mad? Yeah? Do I hate ya for leadin' me on? No. I'm just sad and angry that ya could be that cruel. I loved ya and I was always honest and open. Fuck. I'm such a fool."  
"But I love you, Raph. I really do. I'll do anything to prove my love to you," Leo said, his eyes brimming with tears. "Give me a chance, please, angel."  
Raphael sighed and said, "I've been through hell and back and all that kept me goin' was yer love, which was a lie, so ya can understand how I feel. Ya'd feel devastated, Leo. Parta me wants ta tell ya ta fuck off and that I hate ya, but I... Damn it. I don't got the heart ta dump ya and I don't wanna. I love ya incredibly and bein' apart from ya would kill me. I'm gonna give ya a chance, but there's gotta be complete honesty from now on and no secrets. Do ya understand? I don't wanna lose ya, Leo, but if ya lie ta me again, I won't have a choice."  
"Yes," Leo said gratefully. "I promise, Raph. I'll always be truthful to you and I'll love you until my dying breath. Aishiteru, my takara."  
"Aishiteru, Leo."

Donnie entered the room, carrying a tray on which were four sandwiches and two bottles of water.

"I brought sandwiches for you both, figuring Leo was also hungry," Don said and settled the tray on Raphael's lap.  
"Thanks, Don," Raphael said.

"Thank you," Don," Leo said.  
"No problem. Leave the tray on the desk. I'll fetch it later. Get some sleep soon. It's been a long day and if you need anything call me."

"I won't," Raphael said. "I got Leo and he's gonna take care of me, but thanks, Don. Night."

"Night, Don," Leo said.

Don said goodnight and left the room.

XXXXX

The lovers devoured their food.

Leo then set the tray on the desk and moved a stretcher next to Raphael's bed. He crawled into it and smiled at his mate.

"I love you so much, Raph," Leo said, stroking his cheek. "You're sensational. I was so blind not to have seen that before. You're so sweet, sensitive, caring, tender, passionate, loyal, romantic, honest. I could go on forever and you're mine. I'm such a lucky guy and I'll always remember that. You could have told me to go to hell."  
Raphael blushed and said, "I coulda, but yer so imprinted on my heart, it'd be like rippin' it apart and I kinda need it, ya know. I'm such a sap, but ya are. Yer in my heart and my soul and even when I sleep yer there in my dreams smilin' at me and makin' me feel so special. I'm a lucky guy, because yer the most terrific guy in the galaxy and I got no doubt that as long as we communicate and are truthful with one another, our love will last forever, even when we're ashes."  
Leo kissed his mate tenderly, tears in his eyes, and said, "I think so too, sweet Raphie. Let's get some sleep, my angel. I love you."  
"Love ya too, baby."

They lay down and snuggled up against one another, arms wrapped around one another, soft smiles upon their faces.

I'm home with my Leo, Raphael thought, as he inhaled Leo's scent. I'm home and life's gonna be amazin'. No one or nothin' will tear Leo and me apart again. I won't let that happen and he won't neither.

XXXX

Donnie was in his room and was almost asleep, when his phone rang. "Yes?" he said sleepily.  
"Donatello, it's Lotus Blossom. I can't reach anyone else's phone, so I tried yours. Sorry for calling so late, but I had to know. It's been bugging me. I met up with Michelangelo and he asked me if I'd be willing to give Raphael to the Shredder as payback to Leo for cheating on me and for leading Michelangelo on. I declined and Michelangelo said he wouldn't do that, but I had grave doubts and I had to call and find out."  
"Mikey did and it was only thanks to one of Shredder's henchmen that we located where he was and that we ultimately brought him home. He's in the infirmary and should make a full recovery physically. He was in a bad way. Shredder did things to him no one should have to endure, including non con, but my brother should heal with our love. We'll do our best."  
"Oh no!" Lotus said disconsolately. "Poor Raphael. That's...I can't believe it. The trauma and agony he must have endured. Please send him my best and tell him that I'm sorry."  
"I'll do that. Thank you. It doesn't sound like you're furious with Raph."  
"I was, but Leonardo made his choice and if they're happy, what can I do? I'll hopefully meet someone else when I'm ready. I'm truly sorry. Maybe if I'd called earlier Raphael wouldn't have been harmed, but I didn't think Michelangelo would really stoop so low. I tried sleeping, but I was unable. I kept thinking what if Michelangelo really had done what he'd said he would, so I had to call and know for certain."  
"Don't blame yourself, Lotus. It's Mikey's fault and he's been exiled. Most likely for the rest of his life."  
"That is a fitting punishment, but I'm sorry. It must have been hard on you all to banish him. I know how close you guys were."  
"Yes. It was. I still love Mikey. We all do and he'll be missed."  
"I should go. Please send my best to Raphael, wish him a speedy recovery and a long and happy life with Leonardo. Take care, Donatello."  
"Thanks, Lotus. I'll tell them. Take care."

Donnie disconnected the call and thought, Lotus is a remarkable person not to bear grudges and to wish Raph and indirectly Leo the best. It says a lot about her as a person. As for Mikey, I hope he's okay wherever he is. It'll be so strange not having him around. I don't know if I'll ever adjust to the new normal, but I know I have to try and I know I already miss him so much. I always will. He's my baby brother and he'll always be in my heart.

 **A/N How will Mikey fare with the Mutanimals and without his brothers? Did Tiger Claw make amends with his sister?**


	16. Karai's defiance

Casey and Mikey entered the Mutanimals' pad, which was an abandoned warehouse in the backstreets of Brooklyn. The place was dark and dingy and a couple of battered sofas they'd salvaged from the dump was their only furniture. A gas stove was in the corner and Casey and Mikey detected the scents of onions and tomatoes. The Mutanimals had clearly recently had dinner.

"To what we do owe this honor?" Leatherhead said, leaving his position by the space heater.

"Mikey needs a place to stay," Casey said. "He's been exiled from the lair for betraying his family. Raph was attacked in the cruelest manner by Shredder and found comfort with Leo…"

"Raphael is injured?" Slash said fearfully, his eyes widening in shock. "Is he okay? Can I see him?"  
"He's recovering and you can see him soon," Casey said.

Mikey trembled and thought, they're not going to want me here when they learn what I've done. I don't blame them, but I have nowhere else to go.

"So how did Michelangelo betray his family and why?" Mondo Gecko asked.  
"Mikey's in love with Leo and was furious and jealous when Leo and Raph Leo got together," Casey said. "He decided he'd get rid of Raph by giving him to the Shredder and he did. If it wasn't for Tiger Claw's kindness in getting him out of there, he'd have died. As it is, Raph has numerous injuries and will be confined to bed for a few days. What Mikey did is unforgiveable and the family agreed on banishment. I'd have ordered his death personally. How could he have betrayed the family, especially Raph, who's always been there for him. That shit has no concept of family and what a brother really is. There's nowhere else for him to go but here, so here he is."

"I don't want that bastard here!" Slash growled, his eyes flashing. "He betrayed Raphael and his family. I can't even look at him."

"I fully agree," Leatherhead said. "But the kid has nowhere to go."  
"How is that our problem?" Slash demanded. "And who's to say he won't betray us if he can so easily betray his brother?"

"Yep. I agree," Mondo Gecko said and glowered at Mikey. "Nope. He can fend for himself."  
"Damn straight," Man-Ray said. "I don't want him here and I don't feel sorry for him. Poor Raphael must have gone through hell. What exactly did Shredder do?"

"He raped Raph and beat him up," Casey said. "And there's a chance Raph may become gravid with his babies, because he's intersex, so you can imagine what a mind fuck it's doing to my pal."  
"You fucker!" Slash roared, lunging at Mikey, picking him up by his belt and then throwing him against the wall.

Mikey screamed, as he hit the wall with a sickening crack and then crumpled to the ground.

"How could you!" Slash yelled and planted his foot on Mikey's neck. "My poor Raphael! The agony he must have endured. You're a horrible piece of shit, Michelangelo!  
"Get off of me," Mikey wept. "Please. I'm so sorry. If I'd known Raph could have babies, I wouldn't have done what I did. I swear I'm sorry. If I could undo the damage I've caused, I would. I'm so sorry. I'll spend my life making up for…."

"Nothing could make up for what you've done," Casey spat. "Nothing."

"Get off of him, Slash. He isn't worth it," Leatherhead said. "Really. What he deserves is a lifetime of solitude to mull over his actions. He sure as heck isn't staying with us. I love the Turtles and they're my dearest friends, but I cannot and will not tolerate Michelangelo. I can't find it in my heart after all I've learned."

A figure had been reclining on one of the sofas and hadn't said a word throughout everything. Now she rose and approached her friends.

"Do you remember when you betrayed Raphael, Slash?" Mona Lisa said. "You were jealous of his relationship with his brothers, especially of Leonardo, whom you thought was very controlling of Raphael and poisoned him against you? You ambushed Donatello and imprisoned him for weeks before handing him over to the Foot. He was then beaten and he nearly died. The Turtles managed to rescue him and it took a long time, but Raphael and his brothers did forgive you. Don't you think Michelangelo deserves forgiveness? Not now, but further down the line?"  
"It's not the same," Slash said crossly, but he removed his foot off of Mikey's neck.

"It is! It's still betrayal and you, Leatherhead," Mona Lisa said. "You were initially enemies with the Turtles until they rescued you from a mad scientist. Mondo, same story and as for me, I sold them down the tube as well and I was forgiven, so don't you think we should show some heart here? Look, what he was did was despicable, but everyone deserves another chance."  
"You're such a softy, Mona Lisa," Leatherhead said.  
"I'm not. I'm just being logical. No one's perfect and everyone deserves another chance if they're sincere about their apology. Allow Michelangelo to stay here. I'll ensure he gets what he needs."

"Mona has a point," Mondo said. "We all did horrific things, but were given chances. I guess he can stay if he stays out of my way."  
"Fine," Slash said reluctantly.

Leatherhead nodded and said, "Very well."  
"Thank you," Mikey said gratefully and sat up. "I won't be a problem. Oh. Thank you. And I am sincere. Really. I hope my brothers, especially Raph can forgive me someday. I'd give anything for that."

"I'm out of here," Casey said. "Bye, guys. Catch you on the flipside."

Slash, Mondo and Leatherhead positioned themselves by the heater and left Mona to look after Mikey.

"Do you want anything to drink or eat, Michelangelo?" Mona asked, helping him to his feet.  
"No, thanks. I just want my family," Mikey said mournfully, his eyes brimming with tears. "I miss them so much already and the thought of never seeing them again hurts like hell."

Mona led Mikey to a corner of the room, where they could talk more privately.

"Time has a way of healing wounds," Michelangelo," Mona said. "Raphael is a noble and compassionate creature. I have no doubt he'll forgive you in time."  
"You had a crush on Raph, didn't you?"  
"No. Truthfully, my eye was on someone else when I met you Turtles," Mona said, looking at him intently and making him blush. "I always liked you, Michelangelo."  
"Me? Really?" Mikey said, his eyes wide in astonishment.  
"Yes," Mona said and smiled. "Why is that so hard to believe? You're smart, caring, funny and I felt butterflies when you were around. I'm reserved and being around you helped me come out of my shell more. No one else has been able to do that. Raphael was good to talk to, but I was never interested in him and I could tell he wasn't interested in me. You're the goofball to them, but I found you charming and fascinating. You are, you know, and you're so cute."  
"Wow. I can't believe you liked me."  
"Like, Michelangelo," Mona said, a twinkle in her eye. "But I know you don't feel the same way. You like Leonardo."  
"Yes. I do love Leo. I'm sorry. You're stunning, but...I don't feel the same way. I'm so sorry. You're great and amazing, but…"  
"It is okay. I don't expect you to like me back, but I do have a proposition for you. I am returning home tomorrow. You're welcome to join me or you can stay here with the Mutanimals."  
"But I'd be leaving my brothers behind and who knows when I'd see them again?"  
"I know that, but the change of scene would do you good and who knows you may like my planet and meet someone you really like when you're ready? Think about it and give me an answer in the morning."

If I leave, I may never see my brothers again, Mikey thought. But If I don't, I have to face the hostility of the Mutanimals every day and their contempt and it's not likely Raph will forgive me anytime soon. I can't stomach the contempt and Mona's right. Maybe a change of scene will do me good and time does heal wounds, so I'll go with her and will make a fresh start there.

"No need. I'll go with you, Mona," Mikey said.  
"Great. Sal Commander will be here tomorrow morning. I usually sleep on that sofa, but you may have it tonight if you wish."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes. Of course I am."  
"Thank you. I appreciate it."

Mikey lay down on the sofa, closed his eyes and thought, I hope they forgive me soon. I'm missing them like crazy.

XXXX

Meanwhile, a horny Shredder had visited Raphael for a five a.m. screw and had discovered that he was missing. Incensed, he'd searched for Tiger Claw to demand answers, but was stunned that he was also absent.

Does Tiger Claw have something to do with Raphael's disappearance, Shredder thought? No. Tiger Claw would never betray me. I'm like a father to him. Someone else betrayed me. I will find out who and they'll pay!

Shredder summoned his men and Karai to his throne room.

XXXX

Shredder's henchmen and Karai stood nervously before the villain, their hearts pounding and their insides churning in dread. It was never good when they were called to see him and they had no doubt that something sinister was going to happen.

"I want answers," Shredder said. "Where the fuck are Raphael and Tiger Claw? Karai, you're chummy with Tiger Claw. Where is he?"  
"I don't know, Father," Karai lied. "I haven't seen him all night. Maybe someone else has."

"I saw him!" Stockman piped up to Karai's horror. "He said Raphael had died and that you'd ordered him to bury him someplace off of the property. Tiger Claw left with him in his vehicle."  
"THAT IS UNTRUE!" Shredder shouted, his eyes flashing, as he realized what had actually happened. Tiger Claw had betrayed him and freed his prisoner. "I did no such thing and that blasted Turtle was alive when I last saw him. Find Tiger Claw. He's clearly betrayed me. Karai, you're no longer his friend and your loyalty lies with me. I want you, Stockman, Bebop, Rocksteady and everyone else to seek him out and to bring him and Raphael here. I will not rest until they're here. Get going!"

"Father, no!" Karai wept and threw herself at Shredder's feet. "Don't. I implore you. Tiger didn't mean to betray you. He felt sorry for Raphael. That is all. Please have mercy on him and Raphael, who's just a kid. Father, please."  
"Have mercy?" Shredder said sneeringly. "Have mercy on my enemies? NO. You will find them or I will disown you, girl, and then what will you do? You have nowhere else to go."  
Karai raised her head, summoned up courage, looked at her dad defiantly and said, "I will not look for them. I love Tiger Claw and I will not look for Raphael. If you want to disown me, so be it, but I will not betray the man I love. Banish me or kill me if you wish, but I will not."  
"You've become soft, you pathetic girl," Shredder said contemptuously. "Love. Is your love worth more than my love for you?"  
Karai stood and said, "Yes. I was taken aback when Tiger said we should show some compassion to Raphael and that he belongs with his family, but he was right. Raphael is a kid and despite all he's done, he didn't deserve the abuse you meted out to him. It's unspeakable, immoral and I find it sickening. I'm glad Tiger freed him and if I have to choose between you and him, I know who'll I'll choose. I was behind you before, but after some thinking, I….I can't, Father. I choose love. My love for Tiger and my honor. You have no honor. You're a cold hearted bastard, who'll stop at nothing to get what he wants, even defilement of a child and I cannot support you any longer. My love for Tiger and my conscience don't allow me to."

Shredder's eyes blazed. Never had his daughter spoken so candidly and been so outspoken to him. She'd always been respectful and had known her place and now she was siding with his damn enemies after all he'd done for her.

"I will allow you to live out of the love I once had for you," Shredder said icily. "But I will never forgive you and I will never allow you back home. Consider yourself no longer my heir and daughter."  
"So be it. Goodbye, Father," Karai said and stalked out of the room, the others gawking at the scene that had unfolded. They'd never heard Shredder addressed in such a manner before and had been convinced that Karai would be murdered for her audacity.

XXXX

Karai left the compound, yanked out her cell, when she was several blocks away and made a call.

"Tiger?" Karai said.  
"Karai, why are you calling me? I thought you hated me."  
"No. Listen, I stood up to Father and I've left home for good. Can we meet up and talk?"  
"You're serious? Karai, have you any idea what that means?"  
"Yes, but I don't care, Tiger. I love you and I…I want to be with you and you were right about Raphael."  
"Of course. Tell me where you are and I'll come get you. I love you too."

Karai told him where she was and then she disconnected the call.

Tiger Claw met her ten minutes later, rapture on his face when he saw her.

"Karai!" Tiger Claw said happily, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm so glad. I can't believe it."  
"Believe it. I'm never going back. All I want and need is you, my love. Please forgive me for being such a bitch. You were right. I realized it when he ordered me to betray you. How could I do that to my sweetheart? You were right about Raphael. He doesn't deserve it and he never did. I…I always swore never to be like my father and I was like him. I'm glad I realized and that it wasn't too late to mend things with you and to get out of that place. I suppose in some ways I can credit Raphael for saving my soul and you of course."  
"Of course I forgive you," Tiger Claw said and kissed her soundly.

Karai wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, knowing she'd made the right decision. She belonged with Tiger Claw and nothing or no one would tear them apart, though she knew her dad would try to find Tiger Claw, so they'd spend their lives on the run.

I'm so happy, Tiger Claw thought. My love is back with me and I'm going to see Alopex tomorrow. I know Karai and I will have our challenges, but we'll overcome them with our love.

 **A/N So Karai does have a heart. Next up is Alopex.**


End file.
